Evans Monari: You can’t make friends in old age

On Madaraka Day this year, Evans Monari mobilised our group of mutual friends to visit one of our own, who was recovering from Covid-19. We ate, drank, laughed and, like in all our other gatherings, sang a lot.

We then had a roll call on all the things we are grateful for and the things we had discovered about ourselves in this Covid-19 era. Monari said he was grateful for discovery- about himself, his family and life in general.

Monari’s hospitalisation and his demise has offered an opportunity for profound discovery about the man, our friend who we fondly called Dr Monari.  It has been a period of even more discovery about what an integral part of our lives he was; we are discovering pain and loss so deep but we are encouraged by the enduring power of friendship.

 A brilliant legal mind

Monari, the lawyer, was a man blessed with a brilliant legal mind and a respected member of the legal fraternity in Kenya. He was, until his death, a partner at Bowmans, a leading law firm in the region. He handled many facets of the law but his definitive achievement was leading the team of lawyers that represented retired police commissioner Major-General Hussein Ali at the Hague-based International Criminal Court (ICC). It was on that global stage where Monari gave his best legal performance.  

 “Few have gone through life with a more pleasant demeanour, a cleaner heart and a keener intellect. A charismatic personality and one heck of a lawyer!” General Hussein Ali’s tribute to his friend and personal lawyer at the ICC put in words our collective feelings for his friends. 

 His Humour

Monari’s most memorable prowess was his fantastic sense of humour. He always had a quick comeback and you definitely could not take him down verbally. He used his acerbic wit – in court, in corporate meetings, at social functions – to defuse tension, to charm, to entertain and in some cases, when necessary, to silence. 

A certain member of our group once threatened to silence him with a slap. The unflappable Monari responded: “You will never get near my nose again, I don’t like the Bedford lorry look.” No event was complete without Monari giving his usual witticisms, often quipping “When I want your opinion I will give it you” and lately, more judiciously, “Part of talking is listening”. 

 Love for Music

Monari loved music, and he exhibited his love for music in his everyday life. For a man who was not a band member, he had a huge collection of musical instruments at his home – a Saxophone, a Piano, even a set of Drums. He kept a gramophone and had a huge collection of music LPs covering all genres of music from Rhumba to Classical music.

Monari had a wonderful baritone and sang with great delight, always at loud volume. His love for music led him to being one of the founding partners of the aptly named club Sax & Violins in Karen.

 He had no qualms about taking a microphone and joining a band on any stage. The man could sing, especially when fuelled by some adult beverages. He had a standard repertoire of musical performances. The first one was Afro by Les Wanyika, which he would croon with such fervour that Martha Karua from Kirinyaga would often join him on the dance floor.

He would then go on to sing Sina Makosa before detouring into Catholic Staples like Uninyunyizie Maji and Anayekula Mwili Wangu (never mind that he was born and raised in the SDA Church). He would then sign off with Kwetu Pazuri by Ambassadors of Christ choir and, ever the patriot, Tushangilie Kenya or Fimbo Ya Nyayo.

 The Finer Things in Life

Monari enjoyed the finer things in life- from the fine cognac to the fine whisky to the superior German machines.  Interestingly enough, for a man who loved cars and lived fast, he drove really slow. It was a running joke that his maximum speed limit was 20kph. We also could not understand why such an avid lover of German cars would get himself a 50-year old Aston Martin for his 50th birthday.  Monari had special sensors that could detect and hone in beautiful ladies even when they were miles away.

 Monari the Gusii Man

Monari bore the heavy mantle of being the first born son of the very prominent, larger than life, Mzee Hudson Monari Ogeto. Since his father’s demise a few years ago, Monari, clutching his late dad’s walking stick, has been stoically shepherding his family and siblings during these uncertain times.  He was proud of his Gusii heritage and he wished that if his time should ever come, he would be escorted with good music, pomp and ceremony to rest beside his father in Nyamira.

 Evans Monari – also affectionately known among us as EvMon – would often paraphrase Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton saying, “As you grow older, you can retain a few of your old friends, but you can’t make new friends.”

 We are gutted that we will not get to hear more about his discoveries, our hearts are heavy but we are certain that Evmon lived a daring, adventurous, complex but full life – on his own terms.

 Till we meet again in that Petu Pazuri place!

 By Njoki Kaigai & Catherine Karanja; on behalf of Celebrating Life (Monari’s family of friends) – [email protected]