Dutch woman dumped but won’t give up on Kenyan love

In 2001, Dutch woman Hanneke Van Akkeren was working in Muscat, Oman, when she met this dashing young African man. Let us call him Victor.

He was a Kenyan singer, far way from home, just as she was. They became fast friends, brought together by a shared love for music, attracted by the footloose nature they instinctively recognised in each other.

It did not take long before their friendship turned into romance, and in 2004, Victor brought Hanneke to Kenya and married her at the Attorney-General’s Office.

They went back to Oman, and soon afterwards, moved to Syria, where they lived for the next six years and had two children.

Although Victor became a big name in Damascus, performing with the major bands in the city, his income was not good – there is also the fact that he went back to school for a Masters degree in Music, therefore, it fell on Hanneke to support the family financially, since she had a steady job.

As the years went by, Syria started to feel less and less like home. So in 2011, the couple moved to Nairobi. Hanneke felt that Victor would finally find his footing, but success remained elusive.

FELL APART

According to Hanneke, their marriage could have weathered the financial storm, but just a few months into their stay in Kenya, she discovered that Victor was seeing someone else. And with that discovery, their marriage fell apart.

“What really sealed the deal for me was realising that he had been seeing this other woman for over six months while still living in my house.

Hanneke was ready to go to counselling but Victor made it clear that he was not interested in reconciliation and so in 2012, the couple went their separate ways.

The experience has made Hanneke sceptical of mixed race marriages which she feels can work abroad, when neither of you is in your native country.

However, Hanneke is not ready to give up on love yet. She is in a relationship with another Kenyan.

“This new guy has shown me what real Kenyan life is. With Victor, I was the typical expat, living in a lush suburb, going on expensive holidays, but my new man lives in Mathare slums where he coaches a rugby team. I go there to see him and I love it!” she says, a big smile on her face.

She is realistic about this relationship, placing no demands on her new flame, preferring instead to take it easy and see where life leads them.