How can I stop my sister from having sex?

Q I live with my sister who finished high school last year. Last weekend we had a confrontation after I found contraceptive pills in her bedroom.

I told her that those pills are not for young girls who have not yet given birth. I also told her that she should be more worried about HIV than falling pregnant and that if she can’t abstain, it is better for her to use condoms.

She retorted that she knows everything about birth control because she has already talked to experts.

Why is she doing this? How can I make her stop having sex? Should I send her back home to our mother? I can’t imagine letting live in my house if she continues to have sex. Please help

It seems your sister has been having sex for a while before it came to your attention. This could explain why she confidently told you that she has already gotten advice from ‘experts’.

If she completed high school last year she is still a teenager, thus her advice could have come from her peers.

You will need to broach the topic again to correct any bad advice they may have given her, but this time, be gentle in your approach lest you cause her to shut down.

Do let her know that she is still your sister, that you love her and that you want the best for her.

Let her know your worries concerning her behaviour. This is when you should discuss how pills do not protect against diseases. Neither do they shield her from low self-esteem.

Ultimately, your sister is the only one who can make a decision about whether she wants to continue having sex. But let her know there will be consequences – including the fact that you will no longer allow her to live in your house if she continues down this path. Let your parents know what is going on.

They will also offer support in whichever way possible. All the best having this tough discussion.