Should one abstain from sex before important events?

Jude, a 37-year-old married woman, came to the Sexology Clinic to consult on an interesting question: whether sex the night before affects the performance of an artist. She was in her fifth year of marriage to Randy, a 34-year-old musician. They had two children.

“He is getting busier by the day and now has almost three performances a week,” she explained. “The day before the event he avoids sex and after performance, he is too tired. ”

The couple was having sex only once, and sometimes not at all, every week.

“He believes that sex before an important event is a recipe for mediocre performance so he avoids it at all costs for the sake of his job,” Jude explained.

Randy’s belief is not unusual. Football clubs mostly advise players to avoid sex during championships. Infact, they are isolated in camps during important competitions.

And, yes, we are in the Olympics season. Most of the coaches must have advised athletes to keep off sex. During the Second World War, soldiers having sex was considered a national security threat by many countries. The reason that time was that it was difficult to treat gonorrhoea and syphilis. Antibiotics were not as advanced as they are today. These diseases could clear armies and that would be disastrous.

The belief that sex is bad for performance could be related to the Hindu belief in the power of semen. In this belief, men are advised not to waste their semen through nocturnal emissions, masturbation or sex with prostitutes. The belief is that semen is the most powerful fluid in the body.

The Hindu take it further and believe that semen is associated with spirituality, that by retaining semen in the body, our closeness to God is enhanced. At the same time, the belief is that semen has vital essence, the power and energy for achieving success in life. The more you can retain it the better.

The belief in the power of semen, by interpretation, means that after ejaculation you become a zombie of sorts. It means that if you are an athlete, you may not win the race. Footballers, similarly, may not win a tournament.

We can stretch this further and say that if you have sex before exams maybe you will not pass; and that if it is before a job interview you have lost the job.

But is there any scientific evidence in support of these beliefs? Studies have been done to get the truth. It is estimated that the energy used in one round of sex is 25 to 50 calories. This is equivalent to moving up the stairs from one floor of a building to the next. In terms of physical energy, therefore, there is no justification to fear sex before major events. In fact, three scientific studies done on sportsmen showed that there was no difference in physical energy if one had sex 12 hours or six days before an event.

The only possible reason why one should worry about sex before a major event is if the process of getting a sex partner interferes with adequate rest and relaxation before the event. For example, most coaches worry that athletes may spend long nights in bars drinking and looking for a partner and this can be draining before an event.

“But Randy does not have to do that!” Jude exclaimed, frowning. “We are married and available for each other.”

True, if you have a stable partner and a sex routine then major events should not determine when you have sex. Sex can actually be relaxing and can lead to good sleep so that one wakes up refreshed. Sex also elevates the mood and instills a good level of self confidence. All these effects are good for winning competitions, passing exams or job interviews.

The assumption here, though, is that the relationship is in perfect shape and that sex is physically and emotionally satisfying. If those two conditions are not met then sex itself can bring negative feelings, hollowness and low self-esteem which are not good for a competitive event.

“Well, sex with my husband is quite fulfilling,” Jude interjected.

“Maybe we need a session with Randy to better understand his perspective,” I answered.

The couple visited the clinic twice afterwards and as fate would have it, Randy found sex to be adequately relaxing, leading to better performance.

“I am however beginning to feel that it is too much again,” Jude said when they last visited the clinic. “Because he has many performances a week, that means having sex almost every other day.” Randy shook his head in disapproval, insisting that the frequency was fine with him. As they walked out of the consultation room, I could predict that it wouldn’t be long before they were back with Jude complaining of Randy’s new demands.