What you need to know:
What you need to know:
- On paper young love is romantic but in the real world, you need to be objective
- Regardless of being married later in life, you need to establish yourself as an independent woman who can take care of herself without the need to rely on a man
Hey, I just turned 20 I have been dating for three years now and my parents have no clue about it. I want to tell them but I'm scared because they expect me to graduate, get a degree and marry a wealthy man, but I feel I'm ready to introduce my boyfriend to them. Please advise me on how to tell my parents, they are really strict and judgmental.
Why do you want to introduce your boyfriend to your parents? Normally people do it when they are committed to getting married. However, it does not harm for him to meet your parents just to get to know them. At 20, you should be concentrating on your studies as your parents have been advising you. Why don't you wait until you are ready for marriage instead of putting undue pressure on your parents? All they want is in your best interest.
As the bible says, there is time for everything here on earth. Your parents know what is right for you. They see this as the right time for you to invest in your education. They wish for you to become an independent person in the future. Having a boyfriend or rather being in a relationship is not a crime but the issue is what the relationship is doing to you especially if it interferes with your education journey. All having said and done, you need to convince your parents that your relationship won't interrupt your education.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa,Kitale
On paper young love is romantic but in the real world, you need to be objective. This is more about you than it is about your parents. What you should concentrate on are your studies as you date. Regardless of being married later in life, you need to establish yourself as an independent woman who can take care of herself without the need to rely on a man. Let that be a bonus that you gain in life. It does not add value to introduce your boyfriend at this early stage of your life and such a commitment should come later once you are free of your parent's rules. I urge you not to rush into relationship commitments that could derail your opportunities to make something of yourself. At your age, if you put love over everything else you will live to regret it. Keep your flame going but finish your studies first. You should both achieve independence before diving into the deep end which may resort to misfortunes from the wrong choices driven by puppy love.
Maurice Matheka, relationship counsellor
NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA
I'm a 21-year-old woman and have a young mum – she had me when she was 18, so is only 39. I love the fact she's always been a friend to me. My issue is that she's had a messy history with men. She met my dad when she was young, and after a few years, they parted ways. She then got married when I was five and broke up a few years later. She had two more long-term relationships which didn't last. Last year, she met her current boyfriend online, and she is talking about marrying him in a few months. She tends to get bored with men after a few years and I'm always the one to pick up the pieces. I feel angry because I don't see why she has to get married. Why can't she just be with a guy without feeling the need to wed? How can I stop her without us falling out?
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