The church is facing up to sex addiction. Is this too little too late?

Sex is not an easy topic to talk about, and sex addiction is even harder. For a lot of people, sex addiction can interfere with work, the ability to maintain meaningful relationships, and regular daily activities. According to Mayo Clinic, men with sex addiction have an average of 32 sexual partners while females can have an average of 22 sexual partners which increases the risk of the victims contracting an STI, such as HIV or HPV. 

Dr. Susan Gitau, a counseling psychologist says that the major reason for the increased incidence of sex addiction is the easy access to the internet and hence, cyber pornography. "Today, anybody can access sexually graphic materials, hookups through sex chat rooms which makes people to easily locate others looking for sexual encounters,' says the therapist. 

Recently, the Lead Pastor of Transformation Church in Oklahoma and author Michael Todd came out publicly and confessed the struggles he had with pornography. In his teachings, 'relationship goals' he urges churches to help those dealing with the issue because 40 percent of women and men are suffering silently from addiction. 

Recently, Jubilee Christian Church Thika Road held an event where they tackled sex addiction, a subject that is rarely discussed. Here are some insights from the main speakers and feedback from various attendees. 

'The church is dealing with the issue privately, but there is a need to do more'

Pastor Morris Gacheru, 50, JCC Thika Road

"I am passionate about seeing lives change. Unlike drug dependency, sex addiction and pornography are not easy to spot. For the last two decades, I have been in ministry, I have counseled couples struggling with pornography and masturbation. There have also been cases of rampant promiscuity which has largely affected the young generation in the church. Although the church is dealing with the issue privately through one on one counseling, I believe we should do more. Sexual immorality is a spirit and as the church, we need to take our position in helping those afflicted. I have dealt with around 30 percent of people who are addicted to pornography and masturbation. I believe the church is the voice of a nation and we need to help those struggling with addictions." 

'The growing number of Christian men and women seeking help for sex and pornographic addiction is of great concern'

Pastor Andrew Mwangi, 44, JCC Nakuru, Marriage counselor

"Sexual addictive behaviour can include sex with multiple sexual partners, habitual one-night stands, unplanned sex with strangers, masturbation, use of pornography, phone sex, and exhibitionism. Hypersexuality is not a new subject in church and in my book, 'strange woman' I have highlighted in depth the cost of being involved in promiscuity. I have dealt with issues of pornography. I recall an incident of a church couple that got married and on the day of the honeymoon, the man had no interest in his wife because he had watched so much pornography that he was not attracted to her body. It took years of prayers and counseling for the man to be fully free from the addiction. Facilitating a recovery group for sexual addiction, having a non-judgmental attitude, and providing counseling with qualified therapists are needed so that struggling Christians can find the lasting freedom they long for.

'Those abusing drugs may engage in promiscuous behaviours when they are high'

Julius Kimani, 50, Kiambu: Drug and addiction Counsellor

"I was a victim of drug addiction for 23 years. Though I was not hooked to sex, in my eight years of practice, I have met people struggling with both drugs and sex addiction. Those who are abusing drugs or alcohol may engage in promiscuous behaviour when intoxicated. Certain drugs such as ecstasy have been known for their effect on sex. In some instances, some people who want to enhance their sexual experience may turn to certain drugs to intensify sensations, increase endurance, and prolong the encounter. Most importantly, we must know that all addiction, whether it be sex, drugs, alcohol, is a sign of emotional distress. With the support of loved ones, professionals, and church leaders, I believe most Christians can escape the trappings of addiction. As a church, we must be ready to deal with all issues affecting the society." 

'I struggled with hypersexuality for three years despite being a stout church member'

James Nkrone story

"I was invited to this meeting by my nephew. Indeed, sex addiction is a subject that is rarely discussed. I struggled with hypersexuality for three years despite being an active member of a church. I would watch pornography secretly and this affected my marriage as I expected my wife to be like the porn stars. It was not easy to discuss this with my pastor because of the fear of being judged. My wife suggested we seek counselling and I am glad we did. It's true, people are struggling with hypersexuality disorder and because of the guilt, they end up being hooked to drugs and substances to escape reality. I became an alcoholic and got involved in multiple relationships but counseling has shaped me."

'We must come up with relevant topics that can resonate with the young'

Surnie David Kagia, 38, Nairobi

"It's with no doubt that, addiction is rarely discussed in church more so, sex. Unfortunately, the world is giving information to our young generation about sex and when there is no proper guidance, they end up addicted. I have helped several people in our church struggling with masturbation. Information about compulsive sexual behaviour will be helpful in the church setup. Also, there should be a safe and non-judgmental environment for those opening up about their struggles."

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