My dad refuses to accept my foreign girlfriend

Q: I am a guy aged 31 years and have been in love with a lady who is not a Kenyan for 3 years. I bought her home two months ago and my dad was mad at me. He told me that he had high expectations of me and having a non-Kenyan as my wife is a letdown. I tried to explain but he told us to leave his home. Everyone tried to calm him but he said he does not want to hear from me again. I am stressed up. I feel like I failed my dad but I love my girlfriend. What should I do? Will my father ever accept my marriage?

A: The feelings of sadness and anger in your situation are normal and you must allow yourself to feel them as they come. However, after some time you need to pull yourself together. You must consider sharing your disappointment with your parent as you did not have enough time to tell your side of your story. You may want to involve a family mediator to share your feelings on your behalf. Let your father realise that accepting your fiancée is a show of love for you. Additionally, he should understand that if he truly cherishes you as he claims then he must welcome what you love most. I would discourage you from taking responsibility for the rejection. The truth is your father disliked her and he almost disowned you because of her. That means you did not choose rejection as much as you chose to love. One way to overcome insecurity is by boosting your optimism and learning to look on the brighter side of things. Do your best to remind yourself that any judgment is more about the person who meted it on you. If he still rejects you after mediation, do not try to gain their approval. Please learn to cope with these painful feelings by reacting healthily. You may also reach out to others around you for encouragement and support. Consider visiting a counselor.

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