My baby reminds me of my ex who disowned us, how do I move on?
What you need to know:
It is difficult for me to move on because when I look at my baby, it reminds me of my ex. It brings me to tears and no matter how much I try to forget him, I can't.
Q: I have a nine-month-old daughter with a man I dated for a year. It was a long-distance relationship, but we worked it out. I loved him with all my heart and I still do. He broke up with me on the day I wanted to tell him that I was pregnant with his child. His reason for breaking up with me was that he was in love with my best friend. I was so heartbroken by this news that I didn't tell him about the pregnancy after all. He found out about the pregnancy from our mutual friends. When I delivered, I thought the child would bring us back together, but I was wrong. He told me that he doesn't know how to love and that I should just move on. It is difficult for me to move on because when I look at my baby, it reminds me of my ex. It brings me to tears and no matter how much I try to forget him, I can't. Instead, I feel the pain that he caused me. I loved this man with all my heart. How do I fall out of love with him? The sadness is making me depressed. Please help!
A: You sound devastated and my heart goes out to you regarding the situation you are in. Your boyfriend broke up with you initially for your best friend. This indicates that he was already having another woman when you were still with him. The big question you must ask yourself; was he ever faithful? Could he have had other lovers that you didn’t know about? Might this be a sign that he is a serial cheater? When you got the baby, he told you that he doesn’t know how to love and that you should move on. This is a strong statement which I suggest you agree with. He lied in his earlier explanation. But either way, he was looking for a way to keep you away from his life. The hard truth you need to accept is that your boyfriend is not interested in you or the baby.
Claiming that you still love him shows that you are in denial which will hurt you even more. So it is imperative you wake up to the reality that he cannot be your husband or a father to your daughter, and as difficult as it may be look for a way to move on. Clinging into a broken relationship will burden you and put your life in a trap. As for the baby, it is wrong to see his father in him. Remember that he is innocent and he doesn’t deserve any form of contempt.
When you say that he reminds you of his father it means that you love him conditionally or you don’t at all. Does it mean that you are to care and love your own blood only when the father was around? That baby needs you so much and what is important now is to take care of yourself and him. You must not let this broken relationship define you instead connect yourself with positive friends and start living again. The future is brighter. All the best.