I want to change teen moms’ stories, having been one myself

“I had a very difficult teenage hood when growing up and all I wanted was love. My mother got married at 14 and she always narrates how difficult it was understanding her roles as a wife and mother. My father was an influential man in the society working in the ministry of Agriculture and he did all he could to support his family. Life took a tragic turn when my father passed on, while I was 11 months old and my mother was left with the responsibility of taking care of her seven children. I never enjoyed the love of a father figure and I witnessing my mother's hardships emanating from the in-laws. 

Becoming a widow at an early age was tough and according to our traditions, my mother was up for inheritance and being young and beautiful, my uncles and even cousins hoped to win her over. 

Life was unbearable and we became targets of hate and discrimination. We were frequently attacked by our relatives, from robbing us of the wealth that my father had left us to insulting my mother. 

Violent fights were the order of the day in our home. When I was about six, my mother found a job in the District Hospital and we left our rural home. While at work, my mother’s colleagues introduced her to drinking alcohol and she would stay long hours after work clubbing and we rarely had time with her. Before long, I had to take full responsibility for caring for my younger brother, yet I was barely seven. Most days, I longed for parental love but unfortunately, things grew from bad to worse.

Because of this need, I became vulnerable and eventually got married at 15 to my husband who was 32. I barely understood my roles as a wife and a mother and, I spent most of my teenage years searching for my identity. 

I was mistreated and despite the abuse I faced, I was always determined to make my marriage work. My esteem was affected and many times I cried bitterly asking myself ‘till when will I continue facing these hardships?’. 

In one incident, my medical reports indicated that I had Syphilis, which I was later treated for, and I recall the doctor warning me that if I continued in that marriage, things would be worse. It was at this point, I decided to leave my seven-year marriage with three children.  

My experience of being raised by a young mother and later being a teen mother myself propelled me to reach out to young mothers. I am passionate about providing a safe environment where young girls can share their challenges. 

My journey of supporting teen mothers started in the 1990s, when I stepped in to support my house-help who by then was a teen mother. I recall giving her counsel on how she would parent her child effectively and work hard to meet the basic needs. I always offered a listening ear which I desperately longed for when growing up and am glad I impacted her life. She later left my home for better ventures and having had a better understanding of herself.

John Bunyan once said ‘You have not lived today, until you have done something for someone who can never repay you’, that is my story. Adornment is a community-based organisation which for the last five years has been reaching out to teen mothers and giving them hope. Our mission statement is “Beauty for Ashes”. 

Busia being a border town makes it a hotspot for child prostitution and the figures for teenage pregnancy are higher than the national average. According to the Centre for the study of adolescence report on Busia County, the county’s age-specific fertility rate for girls aged 15-19 (adolescent birth rate) is 128 births per 1000 girls which is considerably higher than the national level of 96. About one in five (21 percent) of girls aged 15-19 years in Busia County have begun childbearing which is significantly higher than the national trend of 18 percent. Specifically, 2.3 percent are pregnant with their first child and 18.4 percent have given birth compared to 3.4 percent and 14.7 percent, respectively, at the national level.

A 2020 report by the director of the children’s department, Busia County indicated that between the month of January and June of that year, 2550 girls between the ages of 10-19 were pregnant and by May 2020, 77 girls below the age of 14 were pregnant. These incidences were reported as Covid-19 ravished the country, and children were out of school. 

With these grim figures, I had to do something. I hold monthly meetings for teenage girls and mothers and I offer mentorship on how they can attain their dreams. We have been passionate about rescuing women and girls at risk of Sexual and Gender-Based Violence and hence, recently, we built a safe house. 

Through various programmes in schools and churches, I have sensitised the community on helping the survivors report and then we plan on how they can be assisted. So far, we have supported hundreds of teen girls and mothers with basic needs, counselling, and medical interventions. 

I am a mother of seven, and I am grateful for my children who support my programme. I have encountered challenges with people who think I am saving the girls to earn a living from the aide. 

Also, I got remarried to a white man who passed on recently, and so, some people think I have money to do the programmes and so, I get minimal support. Running a charity organisation requires a big heart and I have learnt to overlook all the challenges. 

My heart is fulfilled when I impact girls as I understand the pain they go through and would do anything to prevent them from what I saw my mother and I going through. My slogan is ‘saving one girl at a time’. I am prayerful, and when the journey becomes tough it becomes my place of refuge. I look forward to saving many more girls and providing them with a safe place to be fulfilled.”

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