I contracted gonorrhea, I’m afraid of infecting my wife but too embarrassed to see a doctor

My name is Sam. I'm 30 years old. Around March 2021, I contracted Gonorrhea. I haven't seen a doctor ever since because I am embarrassed to reveal my problem to them.

Sometimes, I feel so much pain in my urethra.  I have slept with two ladies ever since I contracted the infection and in the process of the coitus, they both revealed to me that they felt some strange pain in the womb.

I have a wife, and since then, I have never slept with her without protection for I don't want her to suspect that sometimes I am unfaithful. I love her so much but I am so embarrassed to see a doctor for medication.

My wife misses it raw. I once talked to a herbalist who gave me some herbal remedies, but I suspect, the infection has not disappeared totally.

If I can get over my situation, I promise not to engage in sexual pleasures with the daughters of Jezebel other than my wife.

Your advice will be of great significance. Thank you in advance.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

READERS ADVICE

The first step in healing comes by accepting that you have done wrong and being remorseful. You said you love your wife; then why did you cheat on her? You can't play someone you love. Even so, it is healthier to swallow your pride and visit a doctor for proper treatment. Don’t hide what will kill you. You have not been faithful even to yourself. Make a covenant of being truthful and honest two both you and your wife. All the best as you start a new beginning.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Mitume, Kitale

I don’t understand why you are so disrespectful to women by calling them daughters of Jezebel yet you are the devil himself? You cheat on your wife with at least three women where you get infected, and you knowingly infect two others. This is not fair and it is a crime. I advise you to seek treatment and be faithful to your wife. Also, I encourage you to stop sleeping around. Please respect women by not calling them daughters of Jezebel.

Wyclef Otieno

You know what your wife is missing and the only remedy is to look for a professional doctor. Forget about the herbal treatment because it has not worked. You say clearly that you love your wife, therefore this is the time you need to act, get over your embarrassment and see a doctor for treatment for the STI. And when you heal remember to keep your promise of never entertaining these women in order to protect your marriage. 

Juma Felix

How I wish that you would get along with your wife and try to explain to her the situation you are going through. It will be worse when you keep quiet because you will be risking her health too. The same applies to other women you infected. Try to reach out and explain your problem. Request that they seek medical intervention.

Wafula Meshack

EXPERT’S TAKE

I am perplexed by how you managed to receive your diagnosis without visiting a doctor. That said, if the three of you are experiencing pain symptoms then you need to snap out of your embarrassment and seek a medical consult. You were able to see a herbalist so seeing a doctor should not be a stretch. You equally have a responsibility to help the other two women and inform them that they too need to visit a medical centre before they spread the STI to other partners. It is only a matter of time before your wife questions, if she hasn't already, why you are using protection with her. The sooner you see a doctor the better. 

Maurice Matheka, Relationship Counsellor

NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA

I am 37 years and have been dating a 23-year-old girl. The woman is a single mother of one and is expecting my child. My friends and family keep telling me this relationship won't work because of the age difference. I tolerate her tantrums and sometimes I feel like she acts like a child. She is upset by petty things like when I fail to text or call her the whole day. Do you think I can make this relationship work or is the age difference too large? Please advise me and do not reveal my identity. 

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