Help! I can't find my soulmate despite trying so hard to find one

I’m trying hard to meet the love of my life. I’m leveraging all my work connections and my interests. But it’s just not happening. What am I missing? Clearly, I’m missing something! But what is it?

Stallione

READERS ADVICE

You are on the right path in your endeavour to seek a soul mate, but what is failing you is that you are yet to understand what your potential targets are seeing in you. You come out as a vain and desperate person hopelessly besotted with seeking love at the expense of everything. Potential soul mates will keep off due to your desperation, believing that you are hiding something. Strive to be patient and work on being friendly. Everything else will fall in place naturally.

Drive Counseling Centre – Nakuru

Finding love can be a complex and personal journey, and there are many factors that can influence it. Everyone's path to love is unique, but some common factors that can affect the process of finding love include communication, self-confidence, being open to new experiences, and being true to yourself. Be patient and open to the idea that love may come in unexpected ways or at unexpected times. If you're feeling stuck, seek the support of friends, family, or a professional counselor. Remember that everyone deserves love and that it's okay to take your time to find it. Good luck!

Fred Jausenge - Dubai, UAE

The one thing you are missing is a genuine friend. You do not need to try hard to meet the love of your life. Instead, simply make friends. Out of your many friends your soul will gravitate towards one whose connection feels different, deep and comfortable. Do not be in a hurry. People can sense desperation from a kilometre away. Seek to be a friendly, genuine and warm person, and the right person will soon come along. The one thing that is a plus for you is the desire! Keep it up. Many young people nowadays detest love and marriage. They want rewards before adding any value. Take control of your life, God shall take care of the rest. All the best.

Tambach Eito,

College Principal

It's still not clear what qualities you’re looking for but being more outgoing will help widen your social circle and the number to choose from will be bigger. Attend social occasions whenever there's an opportunity so you can meet new people. There's nothing wrong with you. Be patient and you'll surely meet the love of your life. Also, be practical and realistic for there aren't any two people that were made for each other, neither is there anything like love at first sight. Get out of your shell and don't go for perfectionism, for nobody's perfect.

W Kagochi Kuira, Counselor Nyeri

FROM THE EXPERT

Your first error is that you are trying to find the love of your life. It tells me that you are seeking a perception of the woman you envision which is not as easy as walking into your local supermarket for a specific product. That magical partner will not manifest based on trying hard or forcing the agenda. Most genuine human to human connections happened by chance and are nurtured over time. Your driving force at the moment is luck. I do not see that working well for you. You are more likely to experience disappointment. The logical solution is to go out on dates with a large pool of people to increase the odds of finding someone who can become not only your partner but a life friend. The strongest relationships are fueled by friendship and not love. Dates do not need to be sexual. They are a way of filtering people to give you an idea of who is out there and what they are interested in. Without that bigger pool, your mission might be futile.

Maurice Matheka is a relationships expert

NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA

I am engaged to a wonderful woman. Recently, we discovered that she is five months pregnant. However, there are instances where I wake up to calls on her phone, and recently I discovered that she has been chatting with another man. Our discussions on this matter have occurred three times without a noticeable change. She has become erratic and rude, which has left me feeling hurt and unsure about our relationship.  How do I handle this?

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