Why you can never go wrong with beer business in Kenya
A pub along a road reserve in Imara Daima estate in Nairobi. The one business that will never fail as long as you manage it prudently (and perhaps be the cashier) and don’t drink on the job is a pub. PHOTO | EMMA NZIOKA
What you need to know:
- I hadn’t been the only one in the neighbourhood who had been robbed of precious sleep hours. Turns out someone had decided to open a bar in the next lane, smack in the middle of residential houses.
- The fact that the illegal pub in the middle of a boring neighbourhood attracted customers in the first place is therefore telling – as long as what you are selling is beer, you will never be short of partakers, wherever you decide to set up your “start-up”.
- In Kenya-speak, socialising with friends mostly means having a drink with your buddies, a drink in this case always refers to beer and other alcoholic drinks.
Last week on Wednesday, I had just got into bed and was dozing off when I was suddenly jarred awake by loud music. Puzzled, I wondered which neighbour had decided to throw a wild party at 10.30 pm on a weekday.
The noisy music sounded pretty close, a fact that confused me even further because, for the life of me, I could not picture any of my neighbours playing Shabba Ranks kind of music and, even worse, playing it loud. I got up, exasperated, and peeped out of the window, but all I saw was darkness all around me. Everyone, apart from me (and that inconsiderate person playing that ear-grating music) was asleep.
I went back to bed and tried to sleep, but ended up tossing and turning, until exhaustion mercifully overcame me about two hours later.
I am the kind of person who needs total silence to fall asleep, and tend to snap awake at the slightest noise, so you can imagine how torturous that blaring music was. To make matters worse, it wasn’t the kind of music that can trigger positive thoughts or make you forget your problems for a while.
The next day in the evening, after spending most of the day trying to keep my eyes open, I learnt that I hadn’t been the only one in the neighbourhood who had been robbed of precious sleep hours. Turns out someone had decided to open a bar in the next lane, smack in the middle of residential houses.
LUCRATIVE START UP
In fact, the bar shared a fence with one of the homeowners, and the fence being a hedge, he could actually see the activities taking place in this pub, even hear some of the conversations the inebriated patrons were having at the top of their voices.
As you can imagine, there was uproar, with talk of taking the matter up with NEMA. This week has been quiet, so I guess the owner of the pub had been breaking the law. This incident made me realise that the one business that will never fail as long as you manage it prudently (and perhaps be the cashier) and don’t drink on the job is a pub.
Whenever a friend visits me for the first time, especially the “born taos”, those who were born and raised in Nairobi and its environs, their first observation is that my neighbourhood has no life. The first comment is usually “This place is quiet …” which is polite for “This place is boring …”
This statement is said with trepidation, as if living here is the worst thing that could happen to anyone.
The fact that the illegal pub in the middle of a boring neighbourhood attracted customers in the first place is therefore telling – as long as what you are selling is beer, you will never be short of partakers, wherever you decide to set up your “start-up”.
If you asked the Kenyan next to you right now what he does for leisure, he will probably say, “socialising with friends.”
In Kenya-speak, socialising with friends mostly means having a drink with your buddies, a drink in this case always refers to beer and other alcoholic drinks.
If someone tells you that he enjoys hiking, mountain climbing, playing tennis and swimming for leisure, he might be speaking the truth, but he is probably lying; we Kenyans generally drink alcohol and eat nyama choma during our leisure time.
Let nobody lie to you, only five per cent of us (I could be grossly wrong) engage in charity work, go swimming or huff and puff up hills in their free time.
I read your article on Sunday with a sense of familiarity. As a salesman, I encounter such experience(s) a lot. Kenyans are some of the most closed and unhelpful people anywhere. Secretaries exist to ensure bosses are not seen, accountants to avoid paying you, matatu crew to harass you. My stay in Rwanda revealed to me that Kenyans are really a man-eat-man society.
George
*****
Kenyans are not only suspicious of each other but rude too. I once jovially greeted a person “habari yako” and got a very arrogant and rude answer. “Hutaiweza kweli na tangu lini niwe mwandishi wa habari”. I was dumbfounded. Other times, I greet a group and instead of answering, they keep quite.
Ratemo
*****
The culture of minding our business has turned us into cold and soulless individuals. Not even the “Nyumba Kumi” initiative whose mission was to let neighbours know each other could break the “mind your business” curse. Where I live, outside Kenya, sometimes we get to know of some Kenyans after they are admitted to hospitals or when they die. We never see or hear them during social activities because they live in isolation.
Alex
*****
I am a very social being, always holding conversations with the next guy. In this city, we have those individuals who will give you the weird sideeye when you greet them. We should all spare a greeting or smile at any random stranger we meet, as you said we might not know their role in our lives in the future. Muiruri
People are different; there are these people you greet every time you meet, but if you meet again they will be quiet. Let me hope those with such vices will change after reading your article.
Dennis
