Why many modern-day relationships don’t last

What you need to know:

  • You also need to constantly reassure each other. Because being faithful isn’t just not sleeping with someone else. It’s continually re-affirming your love...

Every relationship starts off on such a high. The excitement of getting to know one another, the joy of falling in love, the thrill of taking the decision to spend your lives together.

In that first flush of love, no one thinks about becoming grandparents, though hopefully that’s where you’ll be one fine day. But will you really be able to put up with each other for all those years?

If it was your looks that drew you together, will you still love one another as you put on weight, grow wrinkles and start to sag at the corners? Or lose your hair. Or maybe your job.

We always say it's forever, but it’s not that easy anymore. In the past people stayed together because they literally needed one another to make their way through life.

Now it’s more about how much effort you’re prepared to put into making each other happy. Maybe not so much, in our individualistic world of high expectations and instant gratification.

And what about more serious issues? Couples can survive almost any disaster, as long as they solve the underlying problems. But you’re unlikely to grow old together if difficulties are never properly explored and resolved. Or if you neglect your relationship as you change and mature. Because in a thousand tiny ways, neglect is what causes most relationships to end these days.

Hopefully, your relationship still brings you joy and inspires you. But you must also make it your highest priority if you want to stay on track.

So ask yourself whether you’re happy. And whether you’re still the most important people in each other’s lives. Because you must be if your relationship is to last. How honest are you?

Honesty means being able to discuss every issue with complete openness. Everything from balancing your budget to your deepest fears. When you first met, you never stopped talking. How about now?

Ask yourself what your relationship means to you. Are you proud of it? Does it make you feel self-assured and secure? Or resigned and anxious?

And how about your sex life? You chose each other because you desired one another. But as the years pass, work and the children often intrude. So, is intimacy still an important part of your lives together? Do you talk about what you like doing in bed? Reminisce about the good times? Discuss things that didn’t work out?

Are you still wild and passionate together? Enjoy trying each other’s ideas and fantasies? Or has intimacy died away? Or become just a reluctant duty?

You also need to constantly reassure each other. Because being faithful isn’t just not sleeping with someone else. It’s continually re-affirming your love. Accepting each other for who you are and saying out loud how much you mean to one another.

Life’s all too short, so, don’t waste a minute of it. Make each other your first priority, and put your relationship first in everything you do!


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