I did not want to live a lie, says former Catholic priest who opted to marry

Bishop Matthew Theuri has refused to live a lie. After serving for years as a saintly Roman Catholic priest – carrying the crucifix even to the bathroom – he quit the celibacy club and married Maryanne Nyambura, a woman he had fallen in love with at first sight.

Now a cleric of the Ecumenical Catholic Church, Bishop Theuri is also a consummate husband and father of four. He contravened the church’s doctrine of celibacy but he says celibacy is not a doctrine but a condition that should be optional.

Born the second of three children in Nyeri in 1955, Bishop Theuri, who is also a lecturer at Egerton University, didn’t really know his father because he died in the struggle for independence. His mother was a casual labourer, and the young Theuri worked as a herdsboy to augment her earnings.

“I would wake up, ring the bell for people to attend Mass, after which I would milk the cows, clean their sheds and then take them to the grazing field,” he said.

The influence of two Italian priests – Fathers Leornado Sella and Joseph Bragnolo – was to change his life forever.

“They were the kindest people I ever met, very humble, and they treated everyone with love and showed care to every creature that came their way,” he said. “I wanted to be like them some day, and at that tender age, I made up my mind to be a priest.”

Loved books

He loved books and reading and would devour any written material that found its way to his hands, something that would serve him well in his studies. He emerged at the top of his class at Muiteithia Primary when he sat the Certificate of Primary Education (CPE) exams in 1973.

He went to Nyahururu High School, where he scored a Division 1 in the Kenya Certificate of Education (KCE) in 1977, earning favour in the eyes of Fr Sella and Fr Bragnolo.

With their help, he won a scholarship to St Augustine Seminary Mabaga in Bungoma, a college affiliated to The Vatican, where he earned a bachelor of arts degree in philosophy.

In 1983, he received a BA in theology from the Pontifical Urbaniana University in Rome as one of the first African graduates.

After bringing home honours in philosophy, African studies and theology, on December 15, 1984, the young, energised Matthew Theuri was ordained a priest for Ngandu Catholic Parish in Nyeri by the late Archbishop Nicodemus Kirima, assisted by John Cardinal Njue (then Embu Catholic Bishop) and Archbishop Peter Kairu (then Murang’a Catholic Bishop).

He worked as a priest and a vocations director for Nyeri, Nyandarua, Murang’a, Meru and Embu before going for further studies in the United States, where he remained for 15 years.

Today he holds three doctorates in theology, philosophy and educational psychology. It was when he joined Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that thoughts about marriage first crossed his mind.

Catholic crucifix

“I lived the life of a saint and never did I remove the Catholic crucifix, not even in the bathroom,” he said.

But, as scandals surfaced in the US Catholic Church involving priests and parishioners, he began asking questions.

“I became diplomatic and questioned everything I deemed wrong,” he said, adding that many of the priests preached water but drank wine.

“They encouraged us to be poor for God’s people, obedient to our elders and to practise celibacy; we followed their teachings, but they did not.”

“I realised that while we, the student priests, practised chastity and lived saintly lives, some priests had girlfriends, and others were even married,” he said.

“I felt cheated.”

Bishop Theuri had always adored the family as a union and, while he respected his mother, he loved his brother and sister dearly.

“I asked myself: if I was brought forth by a man and woman to this beautiful family, shouldn’t I bring forth children for continuity?”

When he informed his mother about his intention to marry, he got another shock.

“Ardent Roman Catholic that she was, I expected her to say no outright, but all she said was, ‘It is your choice, my son. I will support you’, and I saw a wise and knowledgeable woman in her,” he said with a smile.

The priest made up his mind to have a family at an opportune moment, and it came in 1995 while at Catholic University where he was a social sciences lecturer. He met and fell in love with Maryanne Nyambura, a colleague and lecturer in philosophy.

Church’s teachings

But Nyambura was from a staunch Roman Catholic background and did not buy the idea. In fact, she reminded him that he was a priest and by marrying he would go against the church’s teachings.

“ I had known him as a very serious man; a man of his word,” she said.

“I knew he was a committed Catholic, hence I did not take him seriously. I told him he was a making a lifelong commitment and should not joke about it,” Nyambura told Lifestyle.

“I was very apprehensive,” she added, “I didn’t know how his priest friends, his relatives and my family would take it. It was very difficult for me and I had to take time for the idea to sink in,” she said.

“Mine was love at first sight,” the bishop said, “and, though she instantly turned me down saying I was a priest and was not allowed to marry, there was no turning back.”

“And when she finally agreed, seeing that I was a man of my word, she was to be my first and last girlfriend.”

They married in 1995 in a traditional ceremony. Afterwards, he could no longer work at Catholic University to avoid what he calls “unnecessary tension,” and kept a low profile on religious matters, concentrating on teaching.

He switched to Egerton University in 1995, where he was a lecturer and later became dean of Faculty of Arts. Former colleagues say he was accessible to everyone and well liked.

Always listen

“He would never wait for anyone to greet him but would say a hello at everyone, including the cleaner,” said Peter Sang, one of the faculty employees.

“He would always listen to you, and many students sought his help when in social and financial problems,” said Jessy Ambani, a former student who is now a banker in Nakuru town.

Bishop Theuri and his wife have four children between nine and 15 years: Edda, Idda and twins Stephanie and Edward.

“When we had our first child, I held her in my arms and felt joy melt my system. I could see my own product in that little angel,” he recalled.

He believes in self-reliance as the first step towards self sustainability and says “bishops can be teachers, nurses and doctors; they should earn something to serve their needs and help the people of God.”

After marrying, he gradually made links with the Ecumenical Catholic Church of Christ of Kenya and was subsequently consecrated on March 28 this year to head the church in Nairobi and Central Kenya region in a colourful ceremony attended by most of his friends, workmates and former students.

While officiating at the consecration, Archbishop Karl Raymond Rodiq described him as “a humble and happy man who, like the biblical Jonah, tried to get out of God’s ministry but has been trapped again,” something Bishop Theuri agrees with.

Consecrated bishops

The consecration brought to three the number of former Roman Catholic priests who have left that church and have been consecrated bishops in the Ecumenical Catholic Church of Christ.

The other two are the Most Reverend Godfrey Siundu of Kitale and the Most Reverend Benedict Simiyu of Bungoma. There are currently 22 former Roman Catholic priests serving in the Ecumenical Church in Kenya.

“If a priest chooses to marry, he should be allowed to serve the church and not be thrown out,” said Dr Theuri.

Nyambura says the cleric has been a wonderful husband and the best father she could ever imagine.

“His desire for a family has made him love us very much. He had longed for children. Even before we got ours, he loved other people’s children,” she said.