How attempts to reconcile Ford and I flopped

When it became clear to friends, relatives and neighbours that there was no BBI between my brother Ford and I, there were several efforts to have a handshake between us.

The first effort was by our parents. On the day Ford almost slashed me with a panga, my father instructed me to go home, saying he would try to reason with Ford when he sobered up. The next day, he tried but Ford was still angry.

Those who know Ford will tell you that his tempers are out of this world.

Last Sunday after church, Apostle Reverend Elkana engaged in shuttle diplomacy. He tried to reconcile Ford and I.

“Andrew,  I have always thought you to be difficult,” he told me. “But your brother is too difficult. The boy needs salvation.” This was after Ford threatened to slash the man of God.

Apostle did not seem to want to leave and I did not need a geometrical set to know what he was up to. So, when I gave him Sh200, he prayed and left, but said he foresaw Ford and I talking before the end of the week.

Seduction

My aunt, Senje Albina, on hearing that her nephews were not on talking terms, decided to visit us. You know, I differed with Senje when she started claiming that she is the one who got me a wife. “Kama singekuwa mimi, Dre angekuwa bado ni kapera,” she would say.

Nothing can be farther from the truth. I may have first met Fiolina at Senje ’s  home but all  she did was to introduce us. I took over and handled the seduction, the courting and the marrying singlehandedly. I would still have made Fiolina mine even if we had met anywhere else. Who would have rejected me then? Who, even today, would reject me? No One!

On arrival, Senje tried to talk to us separately. I told her I had done nothing wrong, and was ready when Ford was ready. But her attempts to talk to Ford bore no fruit, and she travelled back home, but not before I gave her some maize, beans and money.

Then our cousin Kizito arrived from Nairobi, and was tasked by my father to reconcile us. Ford and I met Kizito at Cosmas Bar and Rest, separately. Ford agreed to a reconciliation meeting but asked that it be presided over by the elders, Alfayo and Rasto.

Peace and tranquillity

You see, I am not in good terms with these old men simply because I never buy them anything at Hitler’s. Something Ford does – when he is around.

I had my own reservations but in the spirit of peace and tranquillity, I decided to attend the reconciliation meeting at Kizito’s home on Friday. In fact, I was the first to arrive at 2pm. Soon, Alfayo, Rasto and Nyayo arrived followed by my father. Ford was the last to arrive, after Hitler.

Apostle Elkana – I don’t know who had invited him – opened the session with a long prayer, then left. Alphayo made a speech, reminding everyone how he had had major differences with Rasto. But they had reconciled, and were now the best of friends. Rasto, Nyayo, and my dad also spoke, imploring us to forgive one another and forget the past.

I spoke next and admitted to having not been a very good brother to Ford, without giving any details. I then apologised.

Ford also apologised for overreacting. “This year has been tough to me, and that’s why I was angry and reacted that way, I am sorry my brother.” We greeted each other and hugged amidst applause from everyone around.

Food was served. Kizito’s wife served ugali ,  chapati ,  chicken, matumbo, rice and greens.

We also took tea, fruits, bread and groundnuts.  The elders seemed to be more interested in the food than the reconciliation.

After eating, Hitler delivered five litres of his famed drink, while Kizito produced a bottle of The Famous Grease, and we started mixing and drinking, as we talked.

Ford and I were not prepared for the next stage of the reconciliation.

“I now want to cement the reconciliation of the two brothers, Andrea and Ford Kenya,” Rasto stood up and said.

Fried chicken

He asked Alphayo to bring a bowl, which had a full fried chicken. “As a sign of true reconciliation between brothers, they usually share chicken to signify no ill feelings,” he said.

“While they will take the chicken later, they will have to share a piece imondo (gizzard) in public.”

“Andrea and Ford, please come and share this imondo to show the world that you are one blood, who will always share the things that you have and own without any problems as true blood brothers.” I picked a piece, but Ford refused.

“We are here because Andrew shared things he was not supposed to have shared and you are asking us to share everything? I will not allow any sharing!” He said then left in protest.

People who had been taking the cocktails of Hitler’s stuff and Famous Grease, were getting high, and, as such, Ford’s departure did not dampen their spirits.

They continued drinking and soon, the chicken was cleared in a matter of minutes. I ate the full imondo alone. And wondered whether that means I can share all Ford’s things while he is not allowed to touch mine!

Later on, Rasto declared the event a great success. “At least the two of you are now talking, which is a big step toward reconciliation,” he said.

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