Life lessons from a parent: Strive to encourage the real person in your child

My daughter had an outgoing spirit from the onset of life. She aspired to grow up and never acted her age. Patience was not one of her traits.

At age three and a half, she was sitting unassisted.

At 7 months, she held the coffee table and stood up. She supported herself on it and the next moment she was moving around the table and seats.

She never crawled, not a day. At nine and a half months, she was walking without support.

During her first birthday, she was running up and down the stairs, celebrating with everyone else.

Waiting at the bus stop for a matatu to our destination was an uphill task for her. She would nudge for us to enter any matatu that stopped. Once on board, she starts to nudge about alighting at every stage the matatu stops.

I remember her first day in school, like it was yesterday. When we arrived the school, she wanted to be let loose and join the other students.The other newbies were wailing and crying their hearts out because they felt like they were being abandoned by their parents.

It was the opposite for my daughter, it was like she had been in a prison. She was begging to be let loose to disappear in the masses of other students. This made me wonder, whether we had been protective parents that denied her the freedom she required.

Apparently, freedom is relative, each child requires a certain amount, a certain degree of freedom to thrive in their nature. Was it in her character to run wild and free in life? Was it in her character to love people and the company of people?

Many years later, my daughter’s need for freedom has since changed. She is now very quiet, especially around me, but when she is in the company of her friends, I get to see another side of her. She truly loves her friends and keeps in touch with all of them.

Alas, may I point out that this is not about my daughter, but life lessons on parenting! The little things as parents that we should take note of and nurture in our children at a tender age. These little glimpses of who God created them to be start from birth.

A keen eye would tell you that her walking style was not acquired but was noticed when she started her first gait. These traits are strongly displayed at a tender age when innocence is rife and when the child has nothing to hide or has no reason to hide. They reveal a lot that a parent, as a nurturer, should pick and encourage because these are what define the 'real person' your child is.

Sadly, often the real person is quenched and suppressed by busy parents who do not have time to attend to their children.

They end up quiet and withdrawn, others though they maintain their childlike charm, they are never the same person probably because a nurturer failed to nurture.