Are your parents aware of your activities?
From left: Frank Obegi, Fred Obare, Moses Nyachae and Elijah Omeka. Investigations into the killings of the four friends accused of money fraud took a new twist on June 22, 2022 after it emerged one had conned the lover of his accomplice.
Kennedy Thiong’o lay dead in a city morgue for months, classified as unclaimed, but his family in Kiambu County did not know anything about it. They even didn’t notice an advertisement listing him as one of the bodies that were about to be disposed of by county officials.
Thiong’o was a conductor with Forward Travellers Sacco matatus that ply the City Centre-Kayole route.
Relatives said Thiong’o used to visit his rural home during the December festivities. When he failed to show up last year, they thought it was due to marital problems. Unfortunately, Thiong’o was long dead.
Then there was Frank Obegi. He had come to Nairobi as a student but dropped out of university.
Obegi at times had wads of notes and told his parents in Nyamira County that he sold air tickets. That was until June 19 when his body and two others were found in a forest in Kijabe.
It is after the killings that Obegi’s dealings came to light.
His parents began getting a completely different picture of what Obegi “who had a lot of money” (according to his father Evans Bowendo) had been doing.
The young men’s stories have stirred debate, especially on social media.
“Do your parents or kin know what you are doing in the city?”
A June 21 Twitter conversation on the topic, started by Kelitu Kaseo, a DJ, brought up many realities of contemporary Kenya, with some posting scenarios in which parents come out in the open to defend their “good” children after an incident, not knowing dark secrets were being hidden from them.
“That is why they get shocked on learning that their child has been killed, especially in theft scandals,” Kadogo Mutamba posted.
“We put our parents in very awkward positions.”
Others criticised parents for distancing themselves from children, especially those sent to university or college.
Mourners carry the coffin bearing the remains of Frank Obegi during his burial in Bogwendo village, Nyamira County on June 28, 2022. Obegi's body was among three others which were on Sunday, June 19 discovered in Kijabe Forest.
The young men and women, some say, rarely get money for upkeep from home.
With tough economic times, they join dubious money-making schemes.
“A problem arises when parents send you to Nairobi then sit back and are happy that you are in the university. They don’t call, they don’t send money. You find yourself on the streets,” a Kenyan called Ogechi said.
Some students say none of their relatives even know where they reside.
Another user said his parents do not know that he works as a guard.
The young man added that he sends them cash every month.
The conversation also brought up “acceptable” occupations some city dwellers use to mask their crime.
Online writing, digital marketing or just plain hustling are terminologies used to hide the nefarious activities.
Moi University student Clement Mutuku told the Sunday Nation that he has gone into hairdressing to raise money for upkeep but his parents in Machakos County know nothing of it.
“They know that I am a student,” Mutuku said, adding that he ventured into the craft in 2018 due to financial challenges.
Hosea Namachanja, another student in Eldoret, said he has been a freelance journalist for a while though his parents are not aware of it.
“Writing partly pays my school fees. The rest is pocket money. I have done this since my first year. My father does not know. Whenever he asks, I giggle it away,” Namachanja said.
“My mother only knows that I at times go out of my way to look for money. But she too does not know the exact nature of my job.”
Pastor Joram Okinyi Ndira of Wi Nyaduong Seventh Day Adventist Church in Migori county says lack of knowledge on parenting creates a disconnect between young people and their elderly relations.
“Some parents are negligent. What do you expect if you do not show your child the right way?” the pastor asked.
“And if the mother and father do not work as one, the child does not know whose side to follow. This child will look for a way of settling and this, perhaps with friends. These are the ones who will lead him astray.”
The solution, the pastor says, is to have more forums “to teach Kenyans the right way to create family synergy”.
“There should be more education and awareness about family. Households are falling apart because of insufficient knowledge. Parents these days do not even pray in their houses with the children. They are all fixed on the TV,” Pastor Ndira said.
“The country needs education. Let people know where their family members are.”
