Parents saddled by high costs cut back on soft life

Do you practice self-care? No, we are not referring to your younger self who indulged in spa treatments or rocked well-toned abs earned through sweat and tears — literally — at the peak of your 20s.

We are talking about self-care at your present age. As a bills-paying, child(ren) raising, parent.

The Oxford Dictionary defines self-care as, “the practice of activities that are necessary to sustain life and health, normally initiated and carried out by the individual for him- or herself.”

Self-care is wholesome involving physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health. It doesn’t stop at looking and smelling good, although this is important too.

It involves eating right, getting enough rest, and reading the right kind of books and content (with positive vibrations).

Spiritually, a person can practice their faith through prayers, attending church services or reading spiritual texts as well as spending time in nature to connect with the environment and reflect.

Additionally, for emotional self-care, one can practice meditation, and journal their thoughts and feelings to process their emotions or could seek therapy and counselling to help address their emotional issues.

One can also practice social self-care where they spend time with family and friends or engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation such as traveling, painting, cooking or gardening.

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In Kenya, self-care continues to be a growing trend. In a 2023 Kenya National Bureau of Statistics report, it was found that men spent more time and money on self-care than women.

It was found that men spent 710 minutes daily on self-care while women only spent 704.6 minutes. Men were found to spend more time on culture, leisure, mass media and sports activities compared to women.

But then, self-care costs money.

In January 2023, the beauty products and services industry in Kenya was valued at over Sh20 billion while in December of the same year, Statista Market Insights projected that the mental health market in Kenya would reach (Sh4,356,667,700) in 2024 as people treated mental health issues.

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A 2024 Economic Impact Research finding released by the World Travel and Tourism Council estimated that the sector’s contribution could go as high as Sh1.45 trillion this year.

This means Kenyans have been spending millions of shillings on various forms of self-care.

But with the current harsh economic climate- recently greatly impacted by the raft of government-introduced taxes and steeper policies looming, self-care practices have been significantly impacted, forcing many to either make sacrifices or seek cost-effective alternatives due to tighter budgets occasioned by the high cost of living.

“I often indulged in getting massages when I went in for my weekly hair shave. I work online so spending hours hunched over a computer often gets me tired and with body aches- especially my back. I used to pay Sh1,500 for the back massage only and once a month, I did a full body massage for Sh1,700 which was inclusive of the hair shave. But with the current times, I have had to cut down on the frequency of massages. I get a hair shave plus a facial once every three weeks. That is Sh200 for the shave and Sh150 for the facial,” said Abdikarim Hussein, a resident of Komarock in Nairobi.

He revealed his wife now massages him at home because it has become too expensive to pay for the service at a commercial store.

“The money I now save is used to pay for bills such as transport and hospital visits for my family. I also pay more for stable internet because I work online and I provide for my family's basic needs- which are no longer basic but critical in these harsh economic times. Today, self-care is not as paramount for me as it used to be."

Ms Lydia Mandela, a mum of two, a seven-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy reminisces about when she would spend money dining out, getting beauty treatments and going for vacations without a flinch.

“I used to spend about Sh10000 monthly on self-care and the largest portion of my budget went to beauty services. However, due to the current strained economic times, I have had to find more affordable ways to access self-care. When eating out, I am now keen on restaurant prices. I still go on vacation but less frequently and the budget for this has decreased.”

She noted that her visits to beauty salons have reduced significantly.

“I have found myself cutting back on the budget for my self-care routines to cater for more important home bills such as electricity, drinking water, and food. I now focus more on home-cooked meals and snacks for my family. I don't buy toys for my children as often as I used to or take them out on fun days. The frequency of my self-care routine has reduced but the quality I go for remains the same.”

For Nyambura Sam, a mum of a four-year-old boy, hacking self-care on a budget has been a balancing act that has tested her restraint and self-discipline. Thankfully, her beauty and social standards continue to thrive despite harsh economic times.

“Once or twice a month I go for pedicures and manicures, twice a weekend, I go out. At the nail salon, I spend about Sh1,800 for both services and hair. Because I have dreadlocks, I spend Sh1,200 for retouching and an extra Sh500 for dye. When going out, my budget wouldn't be over Sh5,000- I make sure not to carry my cards and I have money in my mobile transaction applications inclusive of transport.”

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Nyambura says her dreadlocks are a big financial save for her, especially since she has been going to the same salon for more than six years thus securing ‘customer’ rates.

For Collins Juma, the harsh economic climate has limited his social circles to maintain certain minimums like going out and having fun. According to him, it is cheaper to maintain old friends than meet new ones which is often occasioned by the nature of his job in the entertainment industry.

“I enjoy networking with friends at least twice a week. During these meet-ups, we cost share on buying lunch and drinks. I would spend up to Sh3,000 a week. Again, when I feel bored, I would participate in sports activities such as playing football, cycling, and swimming. Except for playing football, all the other activities cost me Sh1500 for swimming thrice a week and Sh1,200 to rent a bike for three hours a day, four times a week,” began Juma.

To save on costs, Juma decided to limit the number of meet-ups and activities. However, this compromise comes at a cost…

“One time, someone commented about how big I have become ‘because I am eating well’ when all along, it is because I can’t maintain the sporty activities that kept me lean. They’ve become too expensive. That comment did not go down well with me. My budget is not great right now but I do some gym exercises in the house.”

Sam Luhazo the owner of a nail beauty parlour in Nairobi’s Donholm area has noted with concern that his clients- majorly women- cut back on manicures, pedicures and facial services over the past few months.

“Before things changed, you would find a client coming in thrice a month and parting with almost Sh4,000 per visit for a session that would last up to two hours. Today, things have changed and some come in once a month or even skip; and they no longer pay for the services they used to.

"You'd find they are now opting for a manicure only because their toes would not be visible in their shoes. It’s not because they don't want to, it's because they are financially strained and choose to do one service at a time.

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"In a month I used to earn a profit of Sh60,000 and now, we are ranging between Sh25,000 and Sh30,000- making rent payment a bit of a hassle because the profits are lower.”

He went on to note that non-pedicured toes are now being hidden in closed shoes and many women are no longer getting fancy acrylic nails, overlays and gum gel but opting for simple gel applications and stick-on nails. They also no longer do full hot bath foot spa pedicures but go for half pedicures.

Lillian Mutanu, a city-based nutritionist and dietician, charges her clients between Sh3,000 and Sh10,000 for customised diet plans. With the rising cost of living, Mutanu’s revolving door is a thing of the past.

Since the year began, the number of clients has dwindled. Her services have now become a luxury, especially since most insurance companies do not cover her services and products.

She observes that it’s not just her business that is failing but more importantly, the health of people is being affected by the harsh economic times.

“Currently, the most affordable food we have is carbohydrates. Eggs, meats, fish, some fruits and cereals are not cheap and not every family can afford them. This can lead to under-consumption of certain nutrients and cause deficiencies.”

Due to the altered dietary habits occasioned by limited budgets, people, in Ms Mutanu’s experience, are prone to have their self-image and confidence impacted in one way or another.

“Of course with overconsumption of certain macronutrients and under-consumption of others, there is going to be a lot of nutritional imbalances when it comes to intake utilisation, uptake and output. So these people will have altered metabolic functions, energy release and production, hormonal function and this will affect things like fertility and other complications that come with malnutrition.

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"You are going to have individuals suffering from side effects such as blood sugar regulation that causes a lot of weight gain in the past they used to say gaining weight is a problem for the rich but unfortunately we have a good number of people financially struggling with being overweight.

"Other side effects will be hormonal acne, dry skin, brittle nails and hair, hair loss and dry lips which will affect someone’s confidence because it is related to one’s self-image.

"Many women rely on their outer appearance to feel the best and confident so you can imagine if they are bombarded with malnutrition symptoms that affect their self-image negatively. They will have it very hard.”

Audrey Oluyole, a counselling psychologist notes that people’s ability to afford self-care products and services can significantly impact self-image and confidence in several ways.

“When one cannot maintain their usual beauty regiments, fitness routines, or grooming habits due to financial constraints, they may feel less attractive or presentable, leading to decreased self-esteem.

"People may compare themselves unfavourably to others who can afford to maintain their self-care routines, further lowering their self-worth. Regular self-care practices often contribute to a sense of routine and normalcy.

"The inability to engage in these practices can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a diminished sense of identity. Financial stress can have a profound impact on mental health, self-esteem, and self-image. The constant worry about financial stability can lead to increased anxiety and depression, which in turn affects how individuals view themselves.”

She went on,” Financial struggles can lead to feelings of failure and helplessness, damaging self-esteem and self-image, as people may equate financial success with personal worth.

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"Social media and societal expectations, additionally, play a significant role in shaping self-care practices and possessions of self-worth. It often showcases idealised lifestyles and self-care routines that can set unrealistic standards.

"During economic downturns, individuals may feel pressure to keep up with these standards despite financial limitations because seeing peers who appear unaffected by financial hardships can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and failure among those struggling financially.”

But there is hope for those who cannot maintain their preferred self-care routines. According to Ms Oluyole, such individuals can turn to home-based self-care alternatives.

“Some of the coping mechanisms and alternative self-care strategies for maintaining mental health and self-esteem during economic difficulties include home-based self-care, which encourages practices such as home workouts, DIY beauty treatments and mindful exercises that do not require significant financial investment.

"Secondly, utilising low-cost community resources like public parks for exercises, local support groups and mental health services offered by non-profits can also help. The third one is skill development. Engaging in hobbies or learning new skills such as cooking, baking and content creation can be fulfilling and improve self-esteem without high costs.

"Relying on family and friends for emotional support and shared activities that foster a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation can also be one of the coping mechanisms an individual can use. This is because prolonged financial stress and significant alterations of self-care routines can have several long-term psychological effects.

"One is chronic stress, which is brought by ongoing financial pressure that can lead to one feeling inadequate, which impacts overall mental and physical health.”

Bottom line? Do not forsake self-care dear parent. Put it right there with your list of bills to pay because in the end, your body—and family eventually-- will thank you for it. Cut back, make compromises and do all it takes to take good care of yourself.