Men enjoy a genuine public display of love

Happy couple

When couples have spontaneous public displays of service it shows their love is deep.

Photo credit: Igah | Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • Some sisters fail to differentiate between service and servitude.
  • Public display of service shows is proof of a solid relationship.

Several days ago, on the main road that leads to my home, I saw people rubbernecking at a Muslim couple.

The woman, in a hijab, was tying the man's shoelaces. I guess that on their journey to wherever, the man's sneakers’ laces came untied and the woman — (perhaps his wife) — was just being loving and dutiful.

I did not think much about it. But it's the stares and comments from some members of the public that caused me to deeply think about this random public display of service.

“Mimi, hata na dawa, siwezi kufanya mtumwa na mwanaume,” (I cannot do that for a man) one woman muttered to her friend, glaring at the dutiful Muslim woman as if she was committing treason.

“Wanaume ni wale wale!” (Men are the same)

Huyo inaonekana hajapata (this one is yet to get) character development,” her friend chimed.

Well, these are the same women you will see going down on bended knees, in public, on dirty sidewalks, bouquets in hand, when they welcome their “man of God”.

Service and servitude

These types of women only draw a line in the sand when it comes to serving their husbands. But when it comes to their “man of God”, they will serve him everything. 

It's these types of women — who are fallacy personified — who will bow to their bosses, be at their beck and call, and work their fingers to the bone for their bosses; yet give their man the middle finger when he requests for a back scratch after a hard day’s work. 

The definition of service is an act of assistance to someone. On the other hand, servitude is the state of being a slave or being forced to work for others or do their bidding without one's consent or against one's will, either in perpetuity or for a period over which one has little or no control.

Some sisters fail to differentiate between service and servitude. I don't blame all of you, though. Some sisters were abused in relationships, which made them loathe the very thought of being in service to a man. But others have fallen victim to hate that's been spewed against all men. 

When couples have spontaneous public displays of service — without compulsion or coercion — it shows their love is deep. These spontaneous displays can be seen, for instance, when a man adjusts his woman's out-of-place lock of hair.

This spontaneous display was demonstrated about eight years ago by President Barack Obama when she guarded First Lady Michelle Obama’s dignity, as they were boarding Air Force One while jetting from their holiday in Hawaii. 

Public perceptions

Michelle was wearing a wavy blue dress. A gust of wind blew her dress, but Obama, being the consummate gentleman, put her right hand over so slightly over her back. 

A weaker man would've gone: “Deal with it, baby; your dress, your choice.”

These spontaneous displays can be seen when a woman adjusts her man's tie or licks her forefinger and then rolls it down her man's eyebrows. 

Here's the thing. For a partner to bend low — literally and figuratively — and be of service to their better half in public, shows they are confident in their place in the relationship.

It also shows they have built their relationship over time — mostly in secret spaces — to an extent that when there is a need for service, there are no second thoughts or long-drawn deliberations, either openly or in their minds. They just do it. They are not (mis)led by public perceptions.

Kudos to y'all who are about public displays of service.