Loving your spouse as you age together

Happy eldery black couple talking in the backyard

Happy elderly couple talking.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

What you need to know:

  • In your old age, sciatic nerve and piriformis symptoms are too common.
  • You will need them for companionship and mental well-being when the children leave the nest.

A friend whom I had not seen for over six years and I were enjoying a lunch date recently. Suddenly, in the middle of a laugh, in this cool café, she broke into a sweat. Literally. All of a sudden, sweat was dripping down her face and on her body.

To manage the situation, she opened her dainty handbag, unleashed what I thought was hand lotion but was a small air fan. She closed her eyes, ignored my surprised look, and started fanning herself. I was amused. Then I laughed.

“Just laugh now. Wait until menopause checks in,” my friend jokingly told me off.

After careful thought, I sobered up. I am slowly but surely headed there. With a few visible strands of grey hair, it is only a matter of time before age sets in. There is a way that age sneaks in on you so fast, it is scary. This episode got me thinking about how beautiful it is when couples age together gracefully.

Troubled breathing

After decades together, couples can write volumes about their ageing experience. It is dramatic. When you see someone struggling to stand, how do you think they are fair during those intimate moments?

Creaking bones from every limb means that he no longer has the youthful energy that kept the fire burning. I can just imagine how elderly lovers feel.

The once king of the multiple rounds of marathons becomes a shadow of himself. One short run and the elderly wife is worried about the poor man’s fragile heart.

“Are you okay?” becomes a typical pillow talk.

With time, I am sure these gymnastics dwindle to quarterly performance reviews. Woe unto you if you have not invested in your emotional connection and friendship as a couple.

With the high cost of living, you want to minimise anything that might cause you stress because you have no energy to fight. Peace is all you want, from your spouse and everybody else. So when you go to sleep, you just want to rest.

To enhance that, a quality bed and mattress are a good investment for your ageing bones and comfort for your fragile backs. In your old age, sciatic nerve and piriformis symptoms are too common.

Too many challenges, I might have scared you off but fear not, ageing might seem unattractive, but it is the only side effect of a long life.

That aside, ageing together as friends and lovers is magical. You make memories that your grandchildren will appreciate.

“Cucu played netball?” They ask in amazement when they spot that youthful image of you on the wall holding a trophy, dressed in your skimpy sports skirt.

They cannot believe the lithe young man frozen in time in a ball dribble is their grandfather. “Grandpa, please teach us to dribble!” They tease you as your ageing wife looks on.

But the wife is lost in thought. She is wondering whether the medical cover is up to date.

“Grandpa will teach you letter writing,” the wife tells them.

But grandpa insists: “No, no, come, I will teach you to dribble.”

The wife knows that he can't do it without an ache here and there and she will have to bring in the muscle cream at some point. Ageing will be kind to you if you have been good to your spouse. You will need their arm for support when walking the stairs becomes a problem.

You will need them to walk you into the doctor's office when they notice your mental faculties are playing a number on you. You will need them for companionship and mental well-being when the children leave the nest.

So be kind to one another in that marriage because a time is coming when you will need each other’s solid support to get by.

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