Just a Man: Surviving Valentine’s Day
On Valentine's, women send subtle reminders to stir oblivious men out of their stupor.
What you need to know:
- Times are tough and Covid-19 is still happening.
- Valentine’s Day, for many men, is one of the most dreaded days.
- If your money is tight, be honest with your woman.
Times are tough. Covid-19 is still happening. The children are back in school, and the fees’ arrears are kicking your already hurt behind. Other bills are piling up and, if a miracle or breakthrough doesn’t happen pretty soon, you’ll be buried alive in bills.
And then there’s Valentine’s Day. For many men, it’s one of the most dreaded days. But there’s help. Here’s a rough guide on how to survive Valentine’s Day 2021 without losing your religion or relationship.
Be the first to shoot
This Sunday, don’t let your woman remind you about Valentine’s Day. On such occasions, to stir oblivious men out of their stupor, women send subtle reminders. Like, remarking about how folks will be painting the town red. Or, asking no one in particular, “When’s the last time I was surprised with flowers?” (Surprise, surprise; that no one, in particular, is someone in particular).
First thing this Sunday morning, before your better half, sends reminders, be the first to shoot, by sending wishes or gifts.
Get a “pardon” because of good behaviour
Disclaimer: This is only for brothers who, in Valentine’s past, have been on their best behaviour.
Be a man. If your money is tight, be honest with your woman. And if your woman is understanding, and you’ve been a “good boy” in years’ past, your good behaviour will grant you some pardon.
If you’ve been living together for long enough, your woman probably knows the state of your finances. And if you’ve always been trustworthy with the family’s finances, she’ll believe you when you explain your position.
Give her a promise
Another disclaimer: this will only work if you’re the type of man who always keeps his promises. If you’ve broken more promises than the Jubilee government, then I suggest you don’t try this at home … unless you’re a stand-up comic.
And don’t promise your woman heaven if you know you’re Old Nick’s sidekick. Make promises you can keep. Promise her that you’ll make it up, big time. Then walk the talk.
Pass your woman the bill
For you to pull this off, you must not be the stingy type. If - year in, year out - you’ve always been paying for Valentine’s treats, you can pass your woman the bill this time around and she won’t feel hard-pressed.
Heck, our women keep reminding us that they’re empowered. Now’s the time to let their purses to do the talking.
Do the much that you can
It’s the thought that counts. As long as that thought isn’t demeaning or a slap in your woman’s face.
You can’t afford a whole box of exotic Swiss chocolates? Keep it simple. A packet of chocolate, worth 100 bob, will do just fine.
Do the much that you can, with the little money that you have. At times, priceless memories are made out of seemingly cheap gifts.
If all the above fail, just shut up and act like it’s 29th February 2021.
Man sense
There’s common sense, and there’s man sense. Ladies, got any burning man-issues that don’t make sense? Shoot. (Names will be withheld).
Each time I request my husband to hold my handbag, he acts like I’m giving him a hand grenade. What am I missing?
You’ve said it. You’re handing the poor guy a hand grenade. Which will blow up and make him lose face. Literally.
There are five items a Kenyan man won’t be caught dead carrying. One is his woman’s handbag. The others are, um, watch this space.
Darling, a handbag’s akin to handcuffs. And guess who the cop is? Aha. That’s man sense.
