Give children gift of time

Father and son

It’s those little things we do with our children which remain engrained in their memories.

Photo credit: Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • When exchanging vows, we have best intentions our marriage will outlast and outlive those of our peers.
  • Most of us want to give our children things we did not get. 

If tomorrow never comes, by Joose brings back nostalgic memories. 

The gist of this song is loving - “to death” - our loved ones, and not waiting till it's too late. But, in this time and age, when separations and divorces are rampant, there is another tomorrow that never comes for some men. It’s a tomorrow of not seeing your child. A tomorrow of not being in the life of one’s child. A tomorrow that, for some men, involves losing your mind because you can't have a relationship with the one/s you mind the most about.

When exchanging vows, we have best intentions our marriage will outlast and outlive those of our peers. The thought of tomorrow never coming never occurs to us. As such, we go through life on autopilot, sans any tricks or tweaks to spice up the flight.

Until our marriage becomes another statistic, and we sigh: “If I knew then what I know now …”

I’m an advocate of giving one’s best to one's child. These are memories we make in the sands of time, so, in case tomorrow never comes, there will be indelible footprints, which can’t be blown away by winds or whims. 

Expensive gifts

Life’s not always fair. Our children may forget the seeds we sowed. But, in the fullness of time, these little seeds have a way of sprouting, even in thorny and rocky hearts. 

President Barack Obama grew up without his father. But he remembers that his father loved dancing. It’s those little things we do with our children, sometimes subconsciously, which remain engrained in their memories - and, at times, genes - for yonks. 

Recently, Bishop TD. Jakes was sharing how he used to shower his children with expensive gifts. He opined that, had he known, he would’ve saved on buying those gifts, and the stash would’ve come in handy when it's one of those days.

Why? Because, the Potters House bishop said, whenever his children reminisce, they gush about are the little things they did with their parents. 

It's about moments, not money. 

Most of us want to give our children things we did not get. We are trying to make up for perceived deficiencies of our upbringing. But, if we are honest to God, we are buying gifts for the kid inside us, who is still stuck in a moment in time. 

Sack loads of love

Joose asks if the love they gave in the past, will be enough to last, if tomorrow never comes. 

Love. Not expensive gifts. Thing with expensive gifts is, one must keep upping the ante. But love can be a simple actions. Doing your child's hair. Baking together. Attending their recital. 

Some of us are fortunate. We sowed sack loads of love in our children's lives; forgetting us will be virtually impossible, if tomorrow never comes. 

However, some of us let the seeds to grow mouldy in the storehouses of our hearts. And, as Joose sings: "Now I live with the regret, my true feelings for them never were revealed." 

This must be one of the worst forms of regret. But life can give us another chance. A chance to rewrite our love story. As Maya Angelou said: “I did then what I knew how to do. And when I knew better, I did better.”

For y’all brothers stuck on Regret Road, I pray life will give you a mustard seed of a chance. And, when it does, I pray you’ll turn it into a towering tree.