Be an engine, not a caboose
Be the man who stands up for what's right, even if it's unpopular or it attracts ridicule.
What you need to know:
- Be that man whom, if it does not work out between the two of you, you will walk away with your head held high.
- Be the man who is voice of reason; the man whose counsel can be counted on when emotions are running high.
"Be." One of the littlest words in the English vocabulary, but which carries the weight of the world on its two letters.
"Be". Verb used to indicate something is due or destined to happen. It is also used to express obligation or necessity, or express possibility, or hypothesise about something that might happen.
As men, we are all on this unending journey of being. Whether it's for the better or worse is entirely up to us. Not our environment. Not our situation. And certainly not our history.
Think about this. When the word, “being” is used as a suffix of the word, “human”; it gives this adjective a different kind of spin. It does not just state who we are, but, I posit, it seems to suggest that, unless a person is dead, they should be in this constant state of, ahem, being or becoming.
Being takes different shapes and forms. You can add yours as you go, or, as your situation of being demands.
I'll start with the one many of can relate with; be a stand-up guy. Bro, be the man whom, when other women are griping that all men are the same, your woman will be like: "Nope, girlfriends. I got me a gem."
Change the narrative
Bro, I'm not saying you should be perfect. I'm not saying you will always get it right. I'm saying you will do the right thing - for God and your girl - even if the temptation is so strong you'll need legions of angels bearing chastity belts to encamp around your waistline for you to overcome.
You know how sometimes a woman's unsavoury experience with one man ruins her whole broth? Be that man who's used to change the narrative. Be that man whom, if it does not work out between the two of you, you will walk away with your head held high.
Bro, be an engine; not a caboose. While growing up, our father gave us a wall hanging, on which was printed "10 Commandments for Gentlemen".
My big bro, Ayub glued these rules on our bedroom wall. I was a kid. I didn't understand some of these commandments. But I crammed them like Mr. Githaiga's mental sums depended on them.
Years later, I found out that, though we may not understand some of the values we verbally espouse, they live with us. And, like unseen radars guiding a ship in the night, they see us through uncharted seas.
One commandment I didn't understand was: "Be an engine, not a caboose." Now that I am a man, I get it.
Unpopular stand
Bro, be the man who stands up for what's right, even if it's unpopular or it attracts ridicule. All the folks around you may be corrupt to the core. Or they may all be cutting corners, but you are the man who will walk the narrow and straight path, regardless.
Be the man who is voice of reason; the man whose counsel can be counted on when emotions are running high.
Being is an evolutionary process, not an event. It may be, but isn't always an overnight affair. It entails going through dark phases, being pruned to emerge, on the other side of the evolutionary process, a creature that is able to withstand and deal with present-day realities and challenges.
Being is a sacrificial process. It means letting go of some long-held attitudes, relationships and mind-sets, and aspiring for higher ideals.
Being is, at most times, a lone and lonely affair. The man who is on this process will live a solitary life. He will be misunderstood and maligned.
The price for being is dear. Which is why only a select few men pay it. But the flipside of not being is dearer; death.
