Should I go back to my abusive husband?
What you need to know:
- The fact that your husband is openly, serially cheating on you, drinking, insulting and physically abusing you, should serve as an eye opener that he does not love you anymore and things might never really work out.
Q: I really need your help. I am 25 years old. I do not have a job and I did not complete my diploma. I have been married for three years and I have a three-year-old son. My husband is not faithful. I have caught him with a series of women and whenever I ask he hits me. He comes home very late and drunk; if ask him why is he misusing money he always replies by asking me if I have a job. He even brought one of his girlfriends to our house once. I am back at my parents' house but he’s begging me to go back, saying he has changed and promising to take me back to school. I find it difficult to trust him because it’s not the first time is promising the same things. I am very bitter and I think I have issues with my self-esteem.
A: My heart goes out to you regarding the situation you are in. One thing that is very clear according to your letter is that you are in an abusive marriage. Your husband has abused you both physically and emotionally and this explains your low self-esteem. Please bear in mind that all these signs raise a red flag and you should not ignore them at all no matter how weak you are financially.
The fact that your husband is openly, serially cheating on you, drinking, insulting and physically abusing you, should serve as an eye opener that he does not love you anymore and things might never really work out. You say you went back to your parents and I suggest that you use this as a better avenue and decide whether this is the man you really want in your life. This will help you have mental clarity and be free from traumatic feelings, hence restructuring your self-esteem.
Kindly reconsider his request to take you back to school as it could be bait to have you again, also due to the fact that it is not the first time he has made you empty promises. I suggest you figure out on how you can support yourself financially for your own needs and the child’s. Getting out of an abusive relationship is safer now before you get badly hurt either mentally or emotionally.
If you choose to stay in this relationship, kindly note that fights will occur – and that they most likely will become a daily habit. The focus should now be on you, your child, and becoming a stronger woman. Get in touch with close family members and friends for any support they can offer. Remember, you have your own life; take control of it and make your way back to happiness, and always remember you have a child who needs you as his mother. All the best.