Man returns home to find 'his' grave after walking out on wife seven months ago

The events of March 3, 2023 are still fresh in Alphonse Okoth's mind.

He had just arrived unannounced at his home in Kaloleni Estate, Nakuru town, to a scene of betrayal.

Not wanting to end up in jail for a crime, he remained calm during an argument with his wife and decided not to attack. 

Instead, he gathered some of his belongings from the house and moved to Nairobi, cutting off communication with his wife and the rest of his family.

Here he started a new life, opening a second-hand clothes shop to support himself.

"I decided to run away, I did not want to do something I would regret later or end up in prison. I have no relatives in Nairobi and I could hawk during the day and later return to the bus station where I spent the nights. I was very happy because I did not want to go home and face my wife who had betrayed me and our marriage," the 40-year-old recalls.

After months of hawking on the streets of Nairobi, his business picked up and he rented a house in the Ngara area and bought a mobile phone and a new SIM card.

After seven months of living alone and not wanting to give up on his wife, Okoth, who was trying to recover from his wife's infidelity, decided to call her to find out how she was doing.

The call would end in shock for Okoth after she informed him that she had buried him in July.

"Nilipiga simu kuuliza wanaendelea namni gani, akaniambia apana...wewe si tulikuzika July. Kwani bado uko hai? Ilinishtua sana sana. Imagine nimezikwa na niko hai. (I called my wife to ask how they were doing, but she told me they buried me in July. I was shocked...how can I be buried and I am still alive?" he recalled the phone conversation between them.

In the one-minute phone call, his wife told him that the family had started searching for him after he went missing for three months without any communication.

They searched for him at Nakuru Referral and Teaching Hospital and Nakuru GK Prison before going to mortuaries, but did not find him.

After months of searching, the family found what they believed to be his body at Nakuru City mortuary.

The body had been at the mortuary for three weeks after police officers brought it from an accident scene in Barnabas area.

Okoth says he was informed that his first wife, from whom he was separated, had identified the body as that of her former husband because it had a similar recognisable mark on its feet.

To give the deceased a proper send-off, family and friends held a fundraiser and the body was taken to Ugenya in Siaya County for burial in July.

But three months later, in October, Okoth resurfaced and returned to Kaloleni to the shock of his friends and family.

However, he was forced to seek shelter at a friend's house in Bondeni area as the culture does not allow him to interact with his family after the turn of events.

He says he cannot return until the body that was mistakenly buried as his is exhumed and purification rituals, including the slaughter of a sheep, are carried out.

"Right now my life is at a standstill. I cannot go to my house or even see my family, including my sisters and brothers, until the rituals are completed. I will not be at peace until the body is exhumed and returned to the Nakuru City mortuary. It was buried next to my father's grave because I am the first born," he explains.

The family has since reported the matter to the area chief.

Okoth says his friends have neglected him for fear of being stigmatised, while others have called him the walking dead and some run away when they see him.

He says those who contributed during the fundraising are now demanding their money back, claiming it was extortion.

"I just ask them to forgive my family; they made a mistake. It was not a plan to swindle people's money. I am not that kind of person.  I just want the body [to be] exhumed and purified. I have since gone to the church and explained to the priest what happened and he understood me," he said.

Despite all the stigma and hardship Okoth has faced, his friend Tom Ochieng has remained by his side.

He said plans for the burial began after he received information that his body had been found at Nakuru City mortuary.

Mr Ochieng was assigned the role of Master of Ceremony (MC) for the funeral, a role he said he dedicated himself to until Okoth's burial.

Months later, however, Mr Ochieng received a phone call from a friend in Nairobi telling him that he had met Okoth in Gikomba -- news he said he did not believe.

He said the friend had given him Okoth's phone number and asked him to call and confirm for himself. 

"When I called the number he gave me, I immediately recognised his voice. I told him ‘but we buried you and I even officiated at your funeral’. He just laughed and promised to come back home. I personally never saw the body," said Ochieng.

"He is more than a friend to me. He is like a brother to me. I can't neglect him like others have done. I just want the whole traditional process to be completed so that he can live peacefully with his family. He is alive; we made a mistake burying someone else," said Ochieng.