Kibwezi West MP Mutuse Mwengi tabling his impeachment motion against Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua (inset) at the National Assembly in Nairobi on October 8, 2024.
The saying goes: “There are more ways than one to skin a cat”. It’s not clear why one would want to skin a cat, which is a cute pet, but Kenyans have not just displayed many ways to skin a cat but that it can be done with great art—especially if it is a political case.
On Tuesday, the National Assembly voted to impeach Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua for a litany of offences as high as Mount Kenya. They ranged from corruption, dividing the country, undermining the President, undermining national security, and the whole shebang. Mr Gachagua thus made history, as the first African deputy president of the post-1990-era to be impeached.
The matter now goes to the Senate, which will need to support it by the required two-thirds for it to stand.
As in 2017 when Kenya’s Supreme Court became the first in Africa to overturn a presidential election, the continent will have been watching proceedings with interest, as presidents look for lessons on how they might stick knives in the backs of their troublesome deputies.
From Mr Gachagua’s case, one can glean some of these early learnings about the Kenyan method of skinning a political cat.
For starters, don’t ambush it or put it to the knife quickly. Perhaps the fear here is that it might look like a kangaroo killing, an unjust slaying. As a result, the Gachagua affair wasn’t rushed. It has been in the making for over a year, especially since he commented about there being “shareholders” in the Kenya Kwanza government, who were entitled to the choice pieces of the steak, more than the others who voted for Azimio la Umoja One Kenya.
Kenya Kwanza politicians
From late last year, ruling Kenya Kwanza politicians started accusing Mr Gachagua of disloyalty, and marketing the idea of impeachment. He didn’t help himself much, continuously stepping on his tongue. After the Gen Z protests of late June and July, the long knives were out for Gachagua. The short of it is that the Kenyan way is not to rush; it is to fatten the cat first.
Secondly, don’t accuse the cat of one offence. Throw a bag full of accusations, you never know which ones will stick and find traction. Also, a long list of accusations builds you a majority, because every legislator is likely to find a grievance they can get behind against that way.
Thirdly, accuse the cat of not just eating more rats than it was supposed to, but also of crossing the fence and chewing other cats’ rats. But that might not have a sufficient emotional touch, so accuse it of eating other cats’ rats together with its kittens.
For a feline to rise to the status of Second Cat in the land, means it has a following from other cats, especially those from its corner of the neighbourhood. Therefore before you put the cat on trial, you need to sow division in the clowder (a group of cats). Make sure other cats in the clowder are not with it. Gachagua’s adversaries went to work, ensuring that his Mount Kenya homeground was divided almost down the middle over his fate. That was enough.
Most people are tired
Fifthly, it is good form to give the cat a chance to defend itself, but do so late afternoon as the working day is about to end, when most people are tired, hungry and would rather be watching football on TV or drinking beer at the pub. Several people will only hear half its side of the story, happy to glance through the headlines in the press and scroll text on TV. This means you get to pass judgment on the cat when the middle class is at dinner, and harried parents are hassling children over the last bits of homework and shooing them off to bed. At that hour, some creatures are already asleep, and those which are awake can’t wait to switch off the lights and slumber off. By morning, many of the cat’s relatives and friends will have cried their eyes out and started to come to terms with the fall of their dear one.
Sixthly, ensure that the First Cat says nothing about his deputy and that his claws are not on the scene where the Second Cat was felled. Gives the First Cat wiggle room, and offers him the possibility to make a public gesture of reconciliation.
The impeachment of the Second Cat, needless to say, offers some survival lessons too. One is that a big cat must ensure to remain friends with small cats, and those on the other side of town. When it can, it should share its milk with other cats.
But most of all, a cat should look out if it has a long bushy tail. Such a tail is likely to knock over the homeowner’s precious vase, and it is also easy for it to catch on fire or to be wedged behind a piece of furniture. It’s good survival practice for a cat with a big bushy tail to get it trimmed from time to time.
The author is a journalist, writer, and curator of the “Wall of Great Africans”. Twitter@cobbo3.
