The fight against GBV needs an open and honest moral inquiry

The subject of gender-based violence in most societies is riddled with victim-blaming and worse still, a perpetrator-cleansing discourse. It is commonplace to hear people citing difficulties in the upbringing of the perpetrator and scenarios of relationship-gone-south as possible explanations for femicide. Unfortunately, such discourses are silent on whether it is only the men, whose numbers surpass that of women GBV offenders and femicide, who experience violence and difficult childhood that affect their later life.

While it is appreciable that women become easy targets for GBV and femicide due to their inability to launch meaningful self-defence by virtue of physical strength, as well as their predisposition to unobtrusive management of intimate relationships, the question on why so many victims of femicide is still a riddle that need to be unravelled. Probably, the answer to this question lies in a sincere introspection of events that run up to either GBV or even femicide where the victims do not live to tell the story. 

Undeniably, the hash-tag movements such as #StopKillingWomen and #EndFemicideKe have done a great job in drawing global attention to the plight of the Kenyan women, and to compel Kenyan security agencies to act more resolutely to bring to book the perpetrators of GBV or even femicide. However, considering that this evil is a morality issue, it is crucial that the society embarks on a moral enquiry in order to know where the rain began to beat us. As such, the idea of going beyond the hash-tag activism and adopting a more thoughtful stance in the fight against gender-based violence and femicide is an issue that requires an honest moral inquiry of our society.

Much as the question on why women have become easy targets for serial killers is significant to the solution of this problem, it is now time that the femicide debate delves more into what the society needs to do to defeat the evil. First, there is need to counter discourses and a slogan that depict women as opportunists in relationships. Anything cultural practice that subtly suggests that men “own” women body and soul, and which motivate them to treat women as commodities need to be addressed. Such tendencies worsen simple conflicts in relationships and even aggravate killer instincts at the slightest provocation.

Secondly, those blaming online dating sites and social media platforms for increasing cases of femicide need to appreciate that the “social media” culture is a train that has already left the station. Much as social media platforms provide a fertile hunting grounds for serial killers, the technology still remains popular meet-up places for the youth even in the remotest parts of this country. As such, women and girls need to cultivate the virtue of doing background checks of their online friends. Their detective instincts need to be so alive that they will identify and confirm unbecoming tendencies in their first date, which is normally set to clear any doubts and reassure the “prey” of safety and commitment.

Thirdly, women and girls need to assert themselves in laying terms for dating. This would require them to understand that their dating is mutual and that none of the parties is getting into the arrangement to help or do the other one a favour. This would make it easy for women to obtain identity details of their mates and help overcome the challenge of dating shadowy figures in the name of online friends.

Finally, our young girls need to embrace the culture of group dating. Serial killers and perpetrators of GBV thrive in isolating their targets. This usually happens where the perpetrator pushes away every person close to their target and insisting on being too secretive. It is advisable for girls and women to ensure that their confidantes know where they are and with who whenever they go out for a date. 

Dr Mwirigi is a researcher, author, and Principal, Kagumo High School; [email protected]