Free Kenyan society of bullies

October marks National Bullying Prevention Month. A bully is “one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable,” according to Merriam-Webster. Without a definition, many of us may picture a bully. This boy may bully and abuse people verbally and physically. Although the caricature describes one group of bullying, focusing on it obscures the various forms and systems that sustain it.

We've identified bullies of various ages, genders, and ethnicities. Bullying ranges from middle/high school "mean girls" to athletic coaches who unfairly berate and humiliate their players, and unfortunately, it now includes major political party candidates.

Real-world bullying has consequences. As a paediatrician, I have witnessed children in emergency departments contemplating suicide as a result of an insulting social media post. Politicians who humiliate and threaten LGBTQIA+ children have supported legislation that increases suicidal ideation in these children. Recent examples include school closures, event cancellations, and psychological pain due to offensive statements. Traumatised youngsters are at high risk of bullying. Peers are more likely to abuse traumatised youngsters. We must assist our children.

Disagreements

As we engage with our children, we must realise that bullying is not conflict. Children must learn how to handle everyday disagreements. Growing up involves knowing how to handle negative comments. Children's developmentally normal arguments rarely include wise adults. Even though it may be challenging, we must instil dispute resolution in our children.

 Interfering will deprive them of a vital life skill. It can be challenging to identify instances of bullying in our children. Children, especially teenagers, dislike involving adults in their issues. It’s particularly challenging when we are the stepparent or foster parent and have no strong bond with the child. We must watch for retreat, unusual isolation, and mood changes. As stepparents, we may need to let our spouse ask the questions. Children will be more likely to tell their birth parents.

Once we identify bullying, we can inform the school and request a safe distance between our child and the bully. However, parents can and should do more to assist. Emotional assistance comes first. Bullying has a detrimental effect on children's self-esteem. We should endeavour to regain some self-respect. Of course, affirmation is insufficient. A child is unlikely to accept meaningless statements such as "you are special." It works better to praise past accomplishments or virtues, such as “I've been proud of the way you haven't given up.” Our support will eventually pay off if the child doesn't listen the first few times.

Power-balancing reactions

We can also assist kids in practising responding. Bullies like weakness. We can help our children emotionally defend themselves by teaching them power-balancing reactions. Self-defence lessons, or fitness and self-confidence sports, help with physical bullying.

We can assist them in preparing responses to verbal or cyberbullying situations. We may need to steer them away from the ideal caustic remark that sounds nice at home but doesn't work. Explain that the best answer is to figuratively ignore the bullying. Bullies typically persist without a response. Work with your child to find effective solutions and empower them to ignore the bully.

Absolutely! We are unable to accompany our children to school or shield them in every circumstance. By preparing them, assisting them in rehearsals, and empowering them to tackle challenges, we can diminish the influence of bullies in their lives.

We must embody the behaviours we wish to see in our children. It is essential to raise our voices when we observe individuals in positions of power—whether in our workplaces, places of worship, or political arenas—using their influence to belittle and undermine those who lack the ability to advocate for themselves.

October is National Bullying Awareness Month, which encourages people to recognize and take action against the various forms of bullying. We hope to possess the necessary skills to effectively tackle this issue.

Surjit Singh Flora is a veteran journalist and freelance writer based in Brampton Canada