You remember all details of Arsenal’s 2004 unbeaten season but conveniently forget when you last had a check-up
A man excited after acquiring a new car.
What you need to know:
- Research shows 65 per cent of men delay seeking medical help, choosing instead to self-medicate, ignore symptoms, or prioritise social activities.
- They will spend hours watching football matches, meeting friends for nyama choma, and meticulously maintain their cars, yet avoid medical check-ups.
- The truth is, we need you – our fathers, brothers, husbands, sons – to be healthy.
My world has always been beautifully dominated by men. As a mother of two adult sons and an aunt to a tribe of nephews, I’ve spent my life surrounded by masculine energy. When my father was alive, we shared a special bond that taught me the depth and strength of a father’s love. Later, until I lost my husband, I was the lone female voice in our home – something that made me both the family’s nurturer and its persistent health advocate.
Perhaps that’s why Dr Moses Musonga’s story in this week’s issue hits so close to home. When he discovered a lump in his breast, he did what many men do – he ignored it. Five years passed before he got a proper diagnosis: stage three breast cancer. Reading his story, I couldn’t help but think about all the men in my life and their stubborn resistance to seeking medical care.
Too busy?
As women, we see this pattern all too often. Research shows that 65 per cent of men avoid seeking medical help for as long as possible when they’re unwell. We watch our fathers pop painkillers instead of visiting a doctor. We observe our brothers brush off persistent coughs with honey and lemon. We see our husbands grimace in pain but refuse to get checked because they’re “too busy.”
The men in our lives will spend weekends watching football matches, meeting with friends for nyama choma, or having their evening drink, but suggest a medical check-up and suddenly they’re too occupied. What’s particularly worrying is that these lifestyle choices – the regular drinking, the heavy meals, the sedentary habits – are the very reasons they should be getting regular check-ups.
Sometimes I wonder: why are we, as women, encouraged to go for regular check-ups, yet the men in our lives consider a hospital visit a sign of weakness?
Why do we normalise annual breast cancer screenings for women but rarely discuss men’s health issues? As I’ve learned, men get breast cancer too, albeit rarely. But like Dr Musonga’s story shows us, when they do, late diagnosis often compounds the problem.
Paradox
The paradox is striking; the same man who will spend hours at the gym sculpting his muscles will run away from a doctor’s appointment. The irony of a man who meticulously maintains his car, never missing an oil change, but hasn’t had a medical check-up in years. And let’s not even start about those who claim they’re “too busy” for a doctor’s visit but never miss their weekly three-hour nyama chomasessions with the boys. Really, gentlemen?
Ladies, we’ve all been there – watching helplessly as the men we love turn into amateur doctors, googling their symptoms and self-medicating. They’ll trust a random WhatsApp forward about health remedies but won’t trust a trained medical professional. The same man who won’t take a painkiller for a headache because it’s “chemicals” will happily down five beers on a Saturday afternoon. Make it make sense!
Gentlemen, we see through the excuses. That “I’m too busy” line doesn’t work when we know you spent three hours last night arguing about football statistics with your boys. You remember every detail of Arsenal’s 2004 unbeaten season but conveniently forget when you last had a check-up.
Breast cancer awareness
In this week’s issue, as we focus on breast cancer awareness, we’re also opening up a broader conversation about men’s health. Because while breast cancer in men is rare, the reluctance to seek medical help isn’t. Studies show that even when men finally visit doctors, 37 per cent withhold information during consultations. This has to change. The truth is, we need you – our fathers, brothers, husbands, sons – to be healthy. We need you present and in good health to share life’s precious moments with us. Your children need you at their graduations. Your wives need you in their golden years. Your grandchildren need your stories and wisdom.
Remember, there’s nothing manly about being rushed to the emergency room because you were too proud to get a check-up. So this October, as we raise awareness of breast cancer, let’s also talk about men’s health in general. Let’s challenge the notion that seeking medical help is a sign of weakness. Let’s make regular check-ups as normal for men as they are for women.
Because your health matters to us. You matter to us.
And no, that persistent backache or paining toe won’t just go away on its own. It’s time to see a doctor.
