The terrifying life journey of a Kenyan sex worker

Ghanaian author Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, in her enthralling book, The Sex Life of African Women, captures the sexual freedom achieved by African women. She explores an array of real life stories of women living on the continent and others in the diaspora.

The book further covers African women’s migration to more liberal nations that don't infringe the sexual rights of their citizens.

Nana discloses that self-discovery is not achieved by loyalty to well-trodden paths, but accomplished by embarking on a personal odyssey—one unique to every individual. She says sexual exploration may be painstaking and treacherous but is also dominated by exciting infinite possibilities.

The book also delves into polyamorous relationships, bisexuality, open relationships and polygamy, and how numerous women explore their sexuality and feminine freedom. It tramples upon harmful societal norms and interrogates the most intricate views on women's sex lives.

During the 17th International Aids Conference held in Mexico City in August 2008, Nana met Philester, a Kenyan aged 32 at the time. Nana had just started working for the African Women’s Development Fund, the first grant-making foundation established by African women. She was struck by the enormous number of sex workers in attendance and the prominence they had at the conference.

Nana's conversation with Philester dismantled her previous misconceptions of sex workers. When Philester turned seven, her mother had a mental breakdown and was placed in a psychiatric asylum. She was a single parent, so Philester and her siblings were divided up between her sisters. Philester was sent to Malindi, where her auntie lived with her husband, a taxi driver. The man would defile while her aunt was at work.

After turning 13, Philester fled to escape the physical and emotional ordeal. She joined a group of impoverished girls whose mission was to get a white man who could look after them. They lived together in a single room.

A few months later, she discovered that she was pregnant and her friends took her to see a woman to procure her an abortion. The woman stared at Philester's diminutive body and informed her she was too small to abort using traditional methods, and would die if she attempted. Instead, she urged her to stay with her until she gives birth, and then they would sell the baby. Having nowhere else to seek assistance, Philester accepted.

Four months later, she went into labour and delivered. She heard her newborn cry but did not get the opportunity to see the baby. It was taken away before she could even know whether it was a boy or a girl. To this day, she is still haunted by the cry of her baby. The host later told Philester that she had sold the baby and taken the money to recover the expenses she had incurred during her four-month stay.

Philester stayed a few more days to heal. She then returned to the streets and began saving the money she made from child prostitution, before enrolling in a girls’ boarding school.

She paid fees for the first year. When they broke for holiday, she returned to the streets to proceed with sex trade. She met an Italian man who manipulatively persuaded her to move in with him, which she did. When it was time for her to return to school, he paid her fees.

But when schools broke for the next holiday, Philester returned to the flat they shared, only to find the Italian gone. He had left a letter behind, stating that he had returned to Rome. He had, however, paid the rent to the flat for another two months.

Philester fell pregnant again. During her third trimester, she visited a clinic. After tests, the nurse in charge, in an uncaring way, told her: “Your results are not good. You’re HIV-positive.” 

No counselling was offered to help her cope with the distressing news. The nurse, however, informed her that it was possible to have an HIV-free child. Philester knew other sex workers who were HIV-positive, so she confided to them and was advised to undertake everything the doctors suggested. She delivered a healthy baby boy at the age of 18.

One night when she was in a club, a man who worked for the International Centre for Reproductive Health (ICRH) offered her respite. She was selected among 40 people to be trained as peer educators to increase knowledge of HIV in the community.

ICRH selected her as a zonal leader and she became the voice of sex workers. After a sex workers’ symposium in Johannesburg, South Africa, she advocated the creation of the Kenyan Sex Workers Alliance, which educates sex workers on ways of avoiding sexually transmitted infections and agitates for their rights.

The reviewer is a novelist, Big Brother Africa 2 Kenyan representative and founder of Jeff's Fitness Centre (@jeffbigbrother)