The life and times of single mums of Gabbra community

While childbearing out of wedlock and teen pregnancies, is not uncommon in our society today, it is a source of concern to families and policymakers, since it denies the young mother a chance to prosper fairly, in life.

Among the Gabbra community in Marsabit County,  however, these topics are muted and spoken of in hushed tones since they are considered taboo.

“Gabbra community customs forbid sexual relations outside marriage and children born out of wedlock are treated in a way that I feel is unfair, partial, and discriminatory,” says Darare Salesa, the CEO of Indigenous Rights and Resource Management Organisation (Iremo).

The community’s social norms proclaim that marriage is the only legal way for sexual interactions and childbearing, and anything outside such parameters is considered illicit.

A girl’s purity was, over the years, held in high esteem in this community. During the traditional marriage ceremonies, for example, a bride was subjected to a purity test where a white garment was spread on their bed during their first night together as a couple, to establish that her virginity was intact.

A bride who passed the test would be wildly celebrated with songs and shouts of acclamation.

On the contrary, any bride who failed the test would be subjected to rejection and derision, and considered a source of shame to her family. This explains why childbearing out of marriage is minimal among the Gabbra.

Ms Salesa says most girls who have failed the virginity test or gotten pregnant out of wedlock, are perceived as having practiced the unnatural, detestable, and deemed as the embodiment of societal decay.

The community’s tradition of moral rejection has, over the years, affected many teenage mothers. Most spend the prime of their teenage years tending their families’ livestock. They end up falling prey to young male herders who impregnate them.

And now activists and human rights defenders consider this stereotype that frames women only as the embodiment of moral decay, a serious form of gender discrimination and marginalization as only the women are punished.

The men who impregnated such girls were, on the other hand, cleansed and embraced within the community. They would eventually marry other women that the community considered as morally pure.

Worse still, the debate on paternity recognition of the unborn child was out of order as they (young mothers) were declared bastards who should no longer identify with the community.

The subsequent offspring of such children were also never allowed to marry into the community.

Till 2006, any Gabbra girl who got pregnant out of wedlock would be banished to neighbouring communities such as Rendille or Turkana.

Thanks to Iremo’s efforts in championing against the violation of the rights of those suffering silently as a result of discriminatory codified moral laws.

Today, many such single women are found in trading centres in North Horr Sub-county.

Data compiled by Iremo shows that there are 46 such single mothers in Maikona, 40 in Kalacha, 76 in Dukana, and 100 in North Horr trading centres.

The number could be higher since the documentation only included those who agreed to join socio-economic empowerment groups.

Ms Salesa is happy that her organisation’s engagement with the community’s traditional elders are yielding fruit. The men have toned down their hard stance and now allow young mothers to live in the trading centres.

Nation.Africa has established just how palpable the stigma attributed to single motherhood in this community has contributed to rejection and marginalization of single mothers and their children.

Sororo Dimba Dambala, a mother of five, paints a grim picture of a lonely life she was subjected to by their community members.

After giving birth to her first child, the 55-year-old was sent packing to the Kalacha trading centre where she lives to date, eking a living.

Arbe Katelo, 56, a mother of six, recounts similar experiences. After getting her first child, out of wedlock, she was not allowed to reunite with her family, having been declared an outcast.

Having no source of livelihood, there were days these women were forced to venture into the illicit brew businesses. Unfortunately, this always got them in trouble with the law enforcement officers.

Thune Wario, a mother of three, and Tume Abudho a mother of four, both living at Hurri Hills trading centre are not short of accounts of agonizing experiences they grappled with as a result of being single mothers.

They, however, found hope in the indigenous people’s rights group’s socioeconomic, livelihood and resilience programs that gave their groups Sh100,000 each, to help them venture into licit businesses such as selling groceries.

Ms Dimba tells Nation.Africa that after being side-lined by an entire community, their children were the only hope they had in life.

They thus, gave a lot of value to their children’s education in the hope that they would one day succeed in life and bolster their social standing in society.

Africa’s traditional society tends to define a child by his ancestors, thus for any child, the issue of filiation is of absolute significance.

Adho Guyo (not her real name) is yet to come to terms with the societal rejection of children born by such mothers in what the community considers extramarital pregnancies.

She believes children are innocent beings who do not decide where and how they are born.

She terms such customs as unwise and cause unnecessary torment to the children more than anyone else.

“I find it nonsensical for a community to send packing a young girl who has been impregnated, yet the culprits responsible for such acts are protected,” says Ms Guyo, a Gabbra.

Having been born to a single mother too, she shares how her mother was subjected to harrowing ordeals after she was sent packing by the community after she conceived.

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