Mum, you definitely chose your friends well

Just how dependable are those you consider your closest friends? Would they take you in if you lost your job and your landlord kicked you and your children out?

Forget that, what if you died and your children have no one to turn to? Would these friends embrace them and raise them as their own?

Wilkista Akinyi’s mother will never know it, but she had a friend that each of us would be privileged to have. When her mother, Susan Ayoo, died 17 years ago, her mother’s best friend, Mary Omito, took her in and raised her as if she were her biological daughter.

The two women, Mary and Susan, met in 1991 at the now defunct Muhoroni Sugar Company, where they were both employed. They developed a fast friendship and within a short time, their husbands and children were firm friends too.

Wilkista was especially close to Mary’s lastborn daughter, Sarah, who was her playmate. In 1992, Wilkista’s father fell ill and passed away. Mary and her family stood by them and comforted them, cementing the friendship even further.

When Wilkista’s mother died six years later, in 1998, Mary, heartbroken, attended her funeral in Asembo, Siaya.

WILKISTA ADOPTED
During the funeral, Mary learnt that her friend’s relatives planned to take the two children to their rural home.

“I thought that it would have been too big a change for the two, especially Wilkista, who was too young and still dependent,” says Mary.”

Wilkista was seven years old and in Class Two.

Mary figured that the only way to avoid this destabilisation was to “adopt” Wilkista. When Mary discussed her intentions with her husband, Jacob Omito, he agreed that the young girl would have a better chance at excelling in life if she lived with them than with her aged grandmother in the village.

He encouraged her to discuss the issue with Wilkista’s relatives — and they agreed. Wilkista, who is fondly referred to as “mum” by her foster parents, has since lived with the Omitos.

We met the jovial couple at the University of Nairobi on 29 August this year when Wilkista graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Meteorology (First Class Honours).

A PERFORMING STUDENT

Mary and her husband, Jacob, both in their mid-60s, had travelled all the way from their home in Usori village, Seme East, Kisumu, to watch Wilkista get her degree. It has not been an easy journey getting here and, to appreciate Wilkista’s achievement, we would have to go back to the beginning.

“Initially, my performance was below average, but my parents (the Omitos) constantly encouraged me to work hard and gradually, I started excelling in school,” Wilkista recalls.

Mary points out that Wilkista was a bright girl who only needed some encouragement, which they made a point of giving.

The couple had four children of their own to educate and provide for and though they had no money to spare, they enrolled Wilkista in a private school, where they felt she had a better chance of performing well.

By the time she was in Class Eight, Wilkista was one of the best performing students in her school. Unknown to her, the Omitos were agonising about where to get money to enrol her in high school the following year.

Says Jacob, “Our dream was that all our children, including Wilkista, would get a university education, but for that to happen, we needed money.”

SCOUTING FOR SPONSORS

They began to look for sponsors earnestly, confident in the fact that Wilkista would perform well.

One of the sponsors they approached was the newly opened Starehe Girls’ Centre, where they were informed that they only admitted top girls’ in the districts.

“Later that day, I had a serious talk with Wilkista and we agreed that she would settle for nothing but the best.”

When the KCPE results for 2004 were announced, Wilkista had kept her promise, scoring 435 marks out of 500. Jacob and Wilkista happily filled the forms he had received from Starehe Girls’ Centre and sent them. In 2005, Wilkista was admitted to the school on scholarship.

She did not disappoint her parents and worked hard in school, topping the best performance list. In fact, in 2007, when she was in Form Three, she was selected by the Kenya Community Development Foundation (KCDF) to participate in the Global Give Back Circle (GGBC).

GGBC is an American programme that gives out university scholarships and mentors disadvantaged girls all over the world.

“When I completed secondary school, I got a fully paid university scholarship to study for a Bachelor of Science in Meteorology at the University of Nairobi,” says Wilkista, who scored A-minus in her KCSE exams.

INTERNATIONAL EXPOSURE
Through the GGBC programme, Wilkista has had international exposure.

“I travelled to the US in 2011 and to South Africa in 2012 to attend summits, which made it possible for me to interact with some of the world’s most influential women such as Melinda Gates, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama,” she says.

This, she adds, has broadened her world view and transformed her into a solution-seeking person.

“Before I joined the programme, my life revolved around me and the next person, but this has now changed; it is no longer about what I can do for myself, rather, what I can do for my community.”

She especially has a passion for the environment, which she believes can only serve us and the next generations well if we treat it with respect and kindness.

She has previously organised community environmental clean ups and tree-planting events involving various schools in Nairobi.

Through a blog, Hey Sister Get Clued Up, Wilkista discusses the issues that young women go through and tries to offer a solution.

“Some of the subjects I discuss include reproductive health, setting smart goals, and how young people can achieve their full potential,” she explains.

HELPING THE DESTITUTE
She is currently working at the Kakenya Centre for Excellence in Narok, (a centre for teenage girls rescued from early marriage) as a peer counsellor and tutor.

“I am a product of giving back. If the Omitos and my sponsors had not spotted the potential in me and given me the chance to excel, I would not be telling this story,” she says, and adds that her experience has taught her that reaching out to a needy child and giving them a good education is a priceless gift that can not only prepare them for success, but also benefit many others in future.

Such is the fulfilment of giving back, Wilkista explains, pointing out that part of her agenda is to help underprivileged children.

She is still amazed by her foster parents’ generosity, especially since they were not well-off, yet they never let her feel as if she was a burden to them. Instead, they treated her as they did their own children.

However, what impresses her most is how much they value education.

“My wife and I did not get much education, but while growing up, we noticed the big difference between those who were educated and those who weren’t — since we wanted our children to succeed, we agreed that we would do everything in our power to educate them to university level,” says Jacob.

One of their daughter’s, Christine, is a Makerere University graduate and works for a non-governmental organisation.

She is currently studying for a Master’s degree. Another, Sarah, is waiting to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in Criminology and Security Studies from Egerton University, while Caroline, a nurse, is studying for a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. The couple’s son, Daniel, is a mass communication graduate.

Wilkista is not the only child that the Omitos have assisted over the years.

“Our family has always been big — at one point, Mum and Dad took in seven nephews and nieces and educated them after their father passed away. I often wondered how they managed and up to now, I still haven’t come up with an answer. All I know is that they did it with love, never complaining,” says Wilkista.

EXCEPTIONAL PARENTS
Wilkista’s older sister, Maureen, who went to live with an uncle after their mother’s death, is a sales person at a clothes shop in the city centre in Nairobi. One of Wilkista’s priorities is to help her join college.

“I am saving to help her to go back to school because this is the only way she can secure a better future. I will only be satisfied once she gets a firm footing.”

You would think that the Omitos are satisfied, now that Wilkista has a degree; you would be wrong. They want her to enrol for a Master’s degree so that she can be more “marketable”.

Once she gets it, they want her to study for a PhD, which they hope she will get by the time she turns 30. And no, it does not end here.

“I want to see her become a professor in one of our universities — all that knowledge will be wasted if she does not share it with others, won’t it?” quips Jacob, looking every inch the proud father.

There is no doubt that they love Wilkista. They praise her good character, saying that every parent would love to have her as their daughter. They must have been exceptional parents, we point out, since all their children seem to be doing well.

“I wouldn’t say that we are exceptional, what we did was raise them in God’s way, according to the instructions in the Bible. We also treated them all equally and as far as our biological children know, Wilkista is their sister and treat her the way they would treat one another,” says Mary.

TRANSFORMING THE WORLD
Wilkista is in touch with her relatives — the Omitos made sure of that. Recently, they all travelled to Asembo to bury one of Wilkista’s uncles, Martin Ong’ayo, her mother’s brother, who was very close to the family.

Mary and Jacob encourage Wilkista to regularly visit her grandmother in Asembo and to stay in touch with her relatives, especially her immediate family, something she gladly does.

She says, “I am indebted to my foster parents and to all the other people and organisations that believed in me enough to educate me. That is why I will continue helping the needy using my talents, skills, and whatever resources come my way.”

As this young woman steps out to make a positive transformation in the world, she hopes that her mother is smiling down at her in pride and is thankful for a friend who remained faithful to their friendship long after her death.