A tale of three cultures: Kenya, Goa and Britain

This is a fabulous read albeit a long one: 394 pages but above all, it is an honest and factual recollection, with no-holds-barred.

After all her writing hand is guided by the brilliant lawyer she is. Her pen does not falter at an uncomfortable truth, what others might consider “too much information".

She takes us on a long and winding safari about her life, her parents, grandparents, relatives and friends in Kenya, Goa, Britain and her adventures as a tennis (an “obsession”) player who could have been Kenya’s first professional tennis player, the love of her life and then a clinical examination of her path to lawyerdom.

To say that Rose D’Sa is an outstanding British Kenyan Goan would be an understatement, I reckon she is more than that.

Rose celebrates the three countries she owes allegiance to: Kenya, the great savannahs full of wildlife, the people of Kenya she met growing up, the golden beaches at the coast where she holidayed, her school days at Loreto Convent (Valley Road), the Goan Institute Nairobi, the city of Nairobi itself (she remained a citizen of Kenya for a very long time); the Goa of her grandparents and her own parents and, of course, her life in the UK … truly greatly well lived with much, much to celebrate, life itself.

Honours

There have been many honours bestowed upon her, including two visits to a Royal reception by the late Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, A Gold Medal appreciation by the European Economic and Social Committee and lots of other VIP invitations including being recognised as a Welsh Woman of the Year.

Rose has scripted terrific odes to her father Alex (we knew him as Leo) and her mother Annie, grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunties and she celebrates most if not all of her parents’ friends in Kenya and Goa.

As such it is a major contribution to the disappearing history of the Goans in East Africa.

She remembers with great joy her late uncle Alu Mendonca, four-time hockey Olympian, field hockey coach and a should-have-been Olympic sprinter.

On returning from each Olympics or an international match, he always brought back to her a memento of the trip.

He was her own very special inspiration, a personal “David Beckham” in the family as she writes.

Her father was a hockey umpire and her aunt Teresa was a Kenya hockey international.

In Kenya, in those days there were lots of stars next door because most Goans lived close to each other.

While she was blown away by Alu’s hockey stardom, she was also brokenhearted by the manner of his departure. “… when Uncle Alu lived with my mother (his sister) in Westlands, he similarly showed little inclination to take any physical exercise and spent hours sitting in a chair, reading the paper, but otherwise immobile.

It could be that this behaviour adversely affected my mother, too. It was distressing to witness this behaviour in someone who knew a great deal about physical fitness and one who had been so fit himself.

He was, however, fully capable of walking when he chose to. We once took them both for a holiday to the coast in Mombasa.

It could only be achieved by organising wheelchair support at the airport and within the hotel. It was a tiring and tiresome experience for John and me, we had to wheel both around a fair bit, but our intention was a noble one, to give them a nice holiday in a luxurious 5-star hotel.

On our return journey, the flight was delayed for several hours. Alu needed to use the toilet, so I asked for an airport attendant to assist him.

It took too long for the person to arrive, in the meantime, Alu calmly got up from the wheelchair and walked to the toilet, completely normally and unaided.

As he came back out, the relevant attendant arrived and witnessed what seemed like the passenger’s miraculous cure! Undaunted at being found out, Alu sat down again and just waited to be wheeled to the aircraft.”

Alu Mendonca passed away on March 10, 2017.

There was a time when a Goan father only spoke to a child when he needed disciplining and out came the belt, the whipping stick or the slap.

Otherwise, the minister for Home Affairs (the mother) dealt with everything else. Rose was lucky enough to be born in an era when fathers, especially those in white-collar jobs, made it their business to in-connect with their children.

Life changes

Rose and her father, Alex Henry D’Sa (Leo to his friends) had such a beautiful relationship. When he passed away suddenly at the age of 53, it changed her life irrevocably.

“Several decades passed before I recovered from the impact and then, perhaps, never quite completely.”

This book is about one woman’s passion for her father, her mother, her husband Prof John Anthony Matthews, passion for relatives, passion for tennis, passion for law and passion for a universe of interests.

And a passion for just life and all that is fortunate enough to capture her interest and win her dedication.

This is by no means an in-depth review of a book that will find its niche amongst readers from Kenya, Britain, Goa, Europe and anywhere else where she is recognised … especially as one of the great lawmakers of the European community.

In the second part next Saturday, I will look at her passion for tennis and the law.