Why setting New Year resolutions is a waste of time

I’m writing this week’s article unsure about where I’ll be when the clock strikes midnight on new year’s morning. Will I be in the arms of my lover? Will I be halfway across the world? Will I be on a beach somewhere looking at the stars and wishing on a dead shooting star? Will we be stuck in the house because the Covid numbers skyrocketed and Jayden decided that we should spend our holidays indoors like last year where I shouted for all of five minutes when the fireworks in Parklands came on.

 It was as enjoyable as it could get on my balcony though. My neighbours all screamed and made as much raucous as they could then ten minutes later I was back in my house and ten minutes after that, I was invited to a party upstairs and lost my recollection of the better half of the morning. I hope that this year will be more entertaining.

The one thing I’m always grateful for at the end of the year apart from Jill Scott and Sanaipei Tande is always survival. This was another of those years fit for a movie. It will probably be made into a movie that our kids will see, or probably multiple movies. I would personally vote to have a movie depicting the ultimate stupidity of humankind and the past year has glowing shining examples of it.

The other thing I’m always grateful for is the fact that I didn’t go back on any new year’s resolutions, primarily because I made a decision to never make any and today, I argue that you shouldn’t ever either. It’s a total waste of time. Let’s start with the fact that it’s been a gruelling year.

People lost jobs, incomes, houses, relationships, health, common sense, basic dignity and respect, you name it. But even without that, no one ever really keeps their new year’s resolutions anyway even when life isn’t looking like an apocalypse. We all talk about them, make a few shallow promises, kiss the person we love or the person closest to us at midnight then wait for at least three weeks before declaring your attempts null and void and pushing them to the next year. So why do we bother anyway?

Mostly peer pressure and pressure we put on ourselves. Every end of year everyone seems to be making these grand plans and you feel like you’re not doing enough if you’re not making yours especially as a man. It’s the usual-resolutions to buy a car, land, a house, get that degree, get married, get a child, move away from Kenya, abandon your family etc. All aims are not bad on their own because growth is always a beautiful thing but it’s not useful if it's going to fail anyway is it?

Resolutions though coming from noble intentions usually serve three functions- 1. Fulfilling internal and external obligation 2. Analysis of everything going wrong in your life and trying to turn it upside down and 3. A need to regain or gain control of your life.

There’s no day that will be enough to fulfill all 3 intentions and instead all it heaps is pressure. Contrary to popular belief, the pressure isn’t useful. It doesn’t spur you to greater things. All it does is set you up for disappointment a few months down the line, which I assure you isn’t useful to you or anyone around you.

What’s the better option you ask? First of all, give yourself a break. Our brains on a daily basis process thousands of thoughts per day with over 70% of them being negative and so we have to make a lot more effort to be positive.

Instead of focusing on the negatives and what you did wrong and what you failed to achieve, spend more time being thankful and mindful of where you are and how far you’ve come so far. Many of us are living the lives we dreamed of or couldn’t even dream of but it’s hard to see if we’re looking at what we didn’t do.

The next thing that works for me is to analyse my life from the point of small incremental changes that I could make that would make a big impact in my life. Changes I could make in a few days which I could build up on and not lofty goals I suddenly come up with at the end of December. Small goals make them achievable but are also easier to see when you think about them.

I’m not telling you not to dream or not to aim higher but I am telling you not to engage in futile endeavours bound to make you as disappointed next year just like they did this year. Did you know that a child born the last time Arsenal won the league is now 16 and eligible to drive in many countries?-that’s a fun fact if you want to intentionally disappoint yourself.

  To an amazing 2022!