My wife is cheating with her ex-boyfriend, his wife sent the evidence

We have been married for a few years now.  Recently, I received a call from a woman who alleged that my wife had an affair with her husband. She had all sorts of evidence: audio clip, photos, video clips and a bank statement showing money that her husband has been sending to my wife.  She is her ex-boyfriend. I feel cheated and betrayed.  I am on the verge of saying is enough and calling it quits on our marriage. 

Simon

READER’S ADVICE

I feel for you. The good book says that the truth sets people free; not necessarily happy but free. With the evidence received, have a heart-to-heart talk with your allegedly cheating wife and what will emanate from the talk should determine your next cause of action. Good Luck.

Zack Omoro

Simon you mention that you have been married for a few years now. One of the vows during marriage is to leave all others and to be faithful to each other as husband and wife. It is evident that your wife decided to stick to her ex-boyfriend. You have all the evidence that you need to confirm that your wife is unfaithful to you. What else are you looking for? Run man. Run. 

S.K. Mbogori, Meru

It is sad and depressing to learn about the betrayal by your spouse. Nothing hurts like finding out that someone you love is leaning on another man’s shoulders. It is evident that your wife didn't cut the soul ties from her ex-boyfriend. I suggest that you have a conversation with her to dig up into the matter to find out why she has been cheating on you. With good and healthy communication, you will salvage your marriage.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa, Kitale.

Most marriage problems begin with wrong choice of partners. In most cases, Mr. Right gets Ms. wrong and Ms. Right gets Mr. wrong. Nowadays, background search on people we want to spend the rest of our lives is hardly done. We are smitten by the external outlook forgetting that a seemingly juicy mango may be rotten inside. To my brother, the evidence provided to you is too much to deal with. Present the evidence to her and task her to explain. Trust and faithfulness are like virginity once lost they can never be regained.

Hasiyo Adams

The fact that the man in question was your wife's ex-boyfriend magnifies the issue of her betrayal. It seems like the love between them still exists. I am not for divorce but in cases of ex-lovers, indulging in marriage it becomes a paramount decision. First love sometimes is unbreakable depending on circumstances that led to them parting ways.

Ken P Gideon 

Send her the proof and tell her that you have forgiven her and still love her very much. Don't even quarrel her about it. Shower her with even more love. She will run away because of guilt.

Zafar Imran

It's hard and painful but you need to move on. She went back to her ex you didn't, she received money from her ex, and you didn't.  She did not only disrespect your marriage but also doesn't love and value you. What's there to hold on to in such a relationship?

Jason Ndirangu

EXPERT’S TAKE

Feeling cheated and betrayed can weigh you down and it is indeed hurtful. Before you quit on your marriage you must at least get the truth from your wife and find out why she had the affair. It is not about excusing or justification but more about finding out what took place for her to feel that she needed to seek out another man's attention. Unless you know the events that led her there, leaving the marriage before having that discussion will do you no good. In my opinion, whether you stay or leave, the mature thing is to have that conversation so that you understand all the variables that led to your predicament. 

NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA

About five years ago, I found out that my husband was cheating on me with a barmaid. This was after I came across immoral and indecent photos and videos of him getting intimate with the barmaid on his phone. To say that I was hurt is an understatement. It was the worst betrayal in my entire 20 years of marriage. When I confronted him, he didn't show any signs of remorse, he refused to apologise and was instead hostile to me. To date I've never been able to forgive him and I completely lost trust in him. Our marriage has lost flavour—there is no communication, jokes, romance. Nothing. In most cases when we talk it ends up in a bitter quarrel. I hate him and that video is still fresh in my mind. What should I do? Kindly advice. 

Margaret

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