Let’s take some quiet time to be grateful

This is for you to know but not necessarily remember but the first Concorde flight to America was to Dallas Fort Worth on September 20, 1973. It was also when my father was born, information which also adds absolutely no value to your life, other than make you feel old.

Back to the Concorde. The Concorde was capable of flying from New York to London in just over three hours, less than half the time it took other commercial airliners to make the same journey. It departed London daily at 10:30am UK time, and after traveling 5,833 kilometres across the ocean, it landed at JFK Airport in New York at 8:30am local time, earlier than it had departed.

The Concorde was the only aircraft that, going by local time, could land before its departure time, hence the nickname “the time machine.” So beloved it was that in 1985, France’s Gaston Lenôtre, the leading pastry chef in the world, flew in on Concorde with a birthday cake for Mobutu Sese Seko. Remember Mobutu? But you know what really takes the cake? The fact that the Concorde flew faster than the speed of sound, twice as fast if you want to be pedantic. 

Or at least it did, until further evidence emerged today to suggest that nothing out speeds time, as this year has just zoomed past us. Horologists claim time actually flies, and (un)fortunately you are the captain of that Concorde.

Wasn’t it January 3, just the other day, when my New Year’s resolution was to learn the art of tax avoidance rather than evasion?

Other than the President, everyone else should be laughing at that joke. It’s one of the things I am grateful for in this country — the jokes, not the taxes. See, this sikukuu period is a reminder of that boulder rolling from January down the months to December, that moss of unticked resolutions, a reminder of all the things I have failed to achieve this year.

Gloom and foreboding

But after a few days — and shots of whiskey — the feeling quickly subsides, and it hits me that all the things that didn’t need to happen in 2023 simply didn’t happen, except maybe some certain important outgoing payments.

But is this really the time of the year to dwell on steep fines or legal threats? Don’t listen to me, but close that email from KRA. This is a time to reflect on one’s actual progress — or regress — over the past 12 months.

Personally, I prefer to be thankful. Now and then it is important to get off Twitter — my rigid immaturity refuses to call it X — and be optimistic. And, look here, it is easy to fill every opinion piece with gloom and foreboding, and there is plenty more where that came from. Hidden in the debris of the obvious despair, a dedicated and well-compensated optimist can easily find evidence that the glass may be half-empty but that’s only because of water rationing.

But, you are alive, and that always counts for something. You have also survived an onslaught from Roysambu babes, and anyone over 30 who still smokes shisha has been cut off from your life. You are doing well, because despite society trying to tell you that you look good with a vape, no grown man ever looks good with a vape in his mouth. Wallahi bro.

Another. We still have democracy, at the very least. We are a dysfunctional family, yes, but at least we put the fun in dysfunctional. Climate change hasn’t killed us (yet) and that NGO that is always advertising ‘Exciting Job Opportunity’ for a ‘Communication Officer’ finally called you for an aptitude test. You won’t get the job, nobody ever does, but a win is a win, right?

Maybe your only win this year is that you didn’t fall for the “Tuma kwa hii number” Kamiti boys. And for that reason, tuma kwa number yangu. Kitu kidogo.

Brother, take this as a day off. Sure, the world could be burning, but your worrying isn’t solving the problem. What’s that the elders say? It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.

Rekindle relationships

Indeed, no amount of boosterism, stiff upper lip or head in the sand can change the reality, but occasionally, look up to the sky and be grateful. My experience in this country is that if you rely on the news (and comments!) everything is doom and gloom with the world about to burn and everyone upended.

However, if you go out and talk to different people from different walks of life, there seems to be plenty going on with their lives, working hard and enjoying themselves.

My rule of thumb is simple – what would I rather do? Then I do the opposite. The much-derided principles of rising above and never complaining or explaining have stood the test of time for a reason.

Me, I am grateful for all of you who write in to comment, compliment and issue complaints of my unbridled disrespect for Roysambu. Sa mnataka kulia? Kwani hamjui jokes? Also, I don’t have grandchildren yet because I don’t have a child because I am not married. So, there’s your silver lining: Less of me to deal with. Be grateful. 

Nevertheless, with all due modesty, I can say if you’ve made it this far, kudos. Mwalimu wa maths is proud. I hope you had a good year. I hope you don’t take for granted how far you’ve come because you’re not where you want to be.

I hope you rekindle the relationships that ran out of oxygen, and that you let the people that matter to you know they do. I hope you hug yourself, and thank you for being you. At the end of the day, enjoy your family, don’t buy vapes and make sure to eat your avocados (without salt). In the long run, we all die — but we never know how long the run will be.

From me and my Roysambu baddies, we wish you a blessed New Year 2024, with less taxes. #Godspeed.

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