What you need to know:
- A wife of one of the VIPs approached me and said she has heard of me and she feels I can make a perfect second wife.
- Was I being baited for something I don’t yet know about?
I work at a place that serves a number of VIPs. Lest I reveal too much, I will just say that the VIPs are legendary womanisers. They have multiple lovers, and word on the street is that they hardly use protection. I was taken aback the other day when a wife of one of the VIPs approached me and said she has heard of me and she feels I can make a perfect second wife; that I see to it that the VIP marries me.
Mark you, I had never had so much interaction with her husband, though I had rejected his advances many times and thought he had given up. The wife’s message struck me as odd; a woman so worried by her husband’s philandering ways that she is now recruiting someone to be her co-wife. I rejected the offer flat out, but I have not stopped thinking about it. Well, I confirmed from multiple sources, including the VIP’s personal assistant, that she is his wife. Was I being baited for something I don’t yet know about? Was it an act of love by the wife? Have we come to a point where women approach strangers and ask them to be co-wives?
A professional code of conduct demands that you respect your work environment and never reveal your organisation’s culture lest you taint the name of the organisation. The philandering ways of VIPs you are talking about should not even concern you. The woman who approached you to marry her husband has reasons that nobody knows except her, and you did well to turn down her request. Maintain your professionalism, deliver what is required of you and go home. If marriage ever crosses your mind (assuming you’re not married), then look for it elsewhere and not among the VIPs you serve. They should purely remain your clients.
This woman is caring of her husband that she’d rather have a co-wife than a series of side chicks all competing for his attention and socio-economic status. The question is; are you ready to be relegated to second place? And in case you are, do you know you’ll always be answerable to her? Is she doing it on behalf of her husband? Days are gone when wives chose their co-wives. She must have done her research before approaching you. Follow your heart and do what you think will make you happy as it’s clear you are attracted to him.
We are living in a corrupt world and almost everything is becoming a scam. Fortunately, those who fear the Lord will not be swayed by these demonic tides! Don't fall prey to the devil by accepting such an offer. Why should you share when there is room for you to get your own full share? Be sober-minded when making this decision about your future.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko
For both men and women, our ideas of love and family are influenced by a lot of factors. These include how we were brought up, our culture, and our norms. I suggest you meet and discuss with her before making further decisions. The response will determine your next move. But as for me, it’s a NO! Be careful.
The idea that a wife can approach another woman on behalf of her husband is not a new thing. It has been going on for centuries. The concept of a couple being entirely exclusive to each other is the general societal expectation. However, there are many couples around the world who practise an exclusive marriage but not necessarily an exclusive sexual lifestyle. There is a chance that the second wife offer was put on the table to lure you to socialise with them at a later date. The husband may have told his wife that he was attracted to you. On hearing this, she decided to approach you. It is not for us to judge how couples relate. Some will be liberal and others conservative. It is not about right or wrong. It is down to the relationship model that a couple agrees to. We should always respect everyone’s choice regardless of whether we subscribe to it or not.
Maurice Matheka is a relationships counsellor
NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA
I am a 25-year-old university student. I’ve been dating a woman from another university for the last seven months and the relationship seemed a success until the day she told me she was pregnant. Since we were only students, the news was unexpected and we had to act swiftly. We first reported the matter to our parents, and then sought counsel from a psychologist on how to keep the pregnancy since we didn’t want to break societal norms by having an abortion. As a devoted man, I decided to defer my semester and look for a hustle to provide basic needs for my woman in readiness to welcome our newborn. Out of love, l frequently and wholeheartedly sent any money I could scrape whenever she demanded it. This went on for three months until the day l decided to visit her, carrying a special gift for her just to check how well she was faring. On arrival, I called her to no avail. Using Google Maps, I tracked her phone and found her. She was at a restaurant. When I got there, I saw her leaving with another man, smiling and giggling. She wasn’t pregnant, and she was cheating on me. I dropped my gift in the dustbin and returned home. Of late, she has been calling but I don’t pick up her calls. I still love her so much. Now, I’m deeply stressed and psychologically tortured. What should l do? Please help me.
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