To give money to relatives or not? Young Kenyans struggling with black tax burden

While the intention behind a ‘cultural levy’, money given to parents, siblings or other family members, was often out of obligation or a deeply ingrained sense of family responsibility, young Kenyan earners say it is proving to be a burden.

In Kenya, the black tax is usually an unofficial agreement but a somewhat mandatory family fee that turns young earners into breadwinners for their clans.

After sharing with family, some remain with zero to set aside as savings or even splurge on a new mobile phone. It now feels like a surcharge on success, sometimes a hefty one, where a first paycheck signals an open season for family financial requests.

Nation Lifestyle interviewed youth in their 20s who said "It is like being a superhero, but instead of fighting crime, you are fighting to keep the light on in your aunt’s house or to keep your younger siblings in school."

Dorcas Lidonde, 22

I am still in school,  so I am yet to start giving my parents money but they keep saying, “We are waiting for our share once you people (my siblings and I) finish school.”

There is a family member who is currently burdened by black tax. She lives in the UK while her siblings are in the village. The family expects her to pay fees for her nieces, nephews, and other relatives.

The assumption is because she lives in the UK, she should assist relatives back home. 

It's a common cultural phenomenon where successful members of the family are seen as the route for others to escape poverty.

Do I think the concept of black tax is unfair? Yes.

It shouldn't be that once you start earning money, you immediately assume the role of provider; financial, mental, and social. Because once you start giving, it hinders personal progress and in the end, it perpetuates generational poverty. 

If you keep giving, even if you seem successful, you will struggle to achieve financial stability.

The only way to end this black tax burden is to set boundaries and define your priorities. 

Master the art of refusal and knowing that "No" is a full sentence. 

Once I start earning money, I will focus on myself first. My well-being comes first.

If I am struggling, then even my parents, who are heading into old age, won’t be well.

I plan to focus on my goals and visions first and help relatives only when and where I can. 

I will not be afraid to turn down requests that I cannot afford. I will contribute within my means and capabilities while making my immediate and extended family understand the reasons behind my decision.

I have realised that people-pleasing is very prevalent, especially among young people. You want to play the role of the family’s saviour, but this is not beneficial in the long term.

Every adult should have their pension scheme and save for their retirement regardless of their age or where they live.

A robust saving culture and access to pensions can help reduce the burden of black tax, and allow retirees to enjoy their golden years comfortably.

That way, the younger generation will be able to invest in their development, without succumbing to the pressures of familial financial obligations.

Job Maina, 24

As people mature, the level of responsibility and contribution expected from family members grows.

Once you are seen as successful, you are expected to start giving back to society. This burden can weigh heavily on young earners.

I am employed, and people already expect so much from me. For instance, my younger siblings expect me to give them money for their needs now that I have a job. The entire family assumes I’ll assist, especially in paying school fees.

If my parents mention a sibling lacking necessities, I'm expected to chip in. Whether it’s clothing, food, or anything needed in school, I’m expected to help, even if it means sacrificing my comfort.

Balancing these needs is hard. I don’t want to ever disappoint my family, but saying no to their requests could render me an outcast in their eyes.

Therefore, I exert myself tirelessly, striving to give money, so that my family can recognise my efforts.

However, families need to be aware that young professionals are in the process of self-development. Imposing excessive expectations on them hinders their ability to grow.

Young people should be encouraged to save and invest in their future.

Honest Omondi, 24

Consider this? I might be the eldest in a large family where everyone seems to be struggling to make ends meet, yet my financial situation appears to be relatively better simply because I live in the city.

This could lead to the misconception that I’m thriving, yet in reality, I am hustling and trying to navigate city life.

Those who live in the village might label me ‘financially secure’ without knowing that I struggle to cover basic expenses since I am earning just Sh30,000, which is barely enough to pay my rent, fare to and from work, and other expenses.

The burden of caring for ageing parents will certainly amplify this burden, making it challenging for me to support other family members. 

It is a complex dynamic where personal sacrifice is inevitable. My other relatives may feel I have refused to help them financially, yet that is not the case. For me, it remains a constant struggle, one that I wish to someday overcome.

Despite working tirelessly, my ageing parents rely on me to support my younger siblings and cover their expenses like rent and food. I am unable to invest or save since I earn Sh30,000.

I can't afford luxuries, and I am confined to a meager existence, with several discomforts. I can’t even think of starting a business or even buying new clothes or shoes.

My advice to those struggling with the same issue is to assess your family dynamics and identify the major gaps.

You may notice that your younger siblings are still in primary school and may not require as much financial support.

This realisation could prompt you to regulate indulgences such as partying, and direct that money towards starting a family business, which your parents could oversee.

By investing wisely and prioritising family needs over frivolous spending, you can create a more stable financial future for everyone involved.

By the way, disregarding parental requests without proper cause can lead to serious consequences.

When parents ask for assistance, viewing it as a mere favour makes them feel as though you are undermining the significance of their role in nurturing and providing for you.

That’s why they tend to remind you of the sacrifices they made in bringing you into this world and raising you.

Instead of succumbing to instant gratification, the youth should focus on investing wisely and partnering with compatible individuals for future endeavours like marriage.

Planning, including saving for children’s education and nurturing their talents, ensures a stable foundation for their future success.

Joy Kithinji, 22

Since I started working, I have had to shelve some of my plans so that I can support my family financially.
Immediately you get a job, there is an expectation that you will support your parents.

This, while well-intentioned, can strain your finances. You end up delaying achieving your personal goals.

You cannot budget effectively because money requests from family are often unpredictable.

How I protect myself is I don’t disclose my entire income to my family. This helps me retain some extra funds for myself.

Parents and other relatives need to recognise that their children, cousins, or siblings should not feel obligated to provide financial support.

While it is good to assist, it should not be a burden. Parents should be open-minded and avoid putting pressure on their children or relatives to consistently give them money. Instead, they should be receptive to any amount given, regardless of timing or amount.

This financial burden can lead to strained relationships. When expectations aren’t met, resentment or strained feelings may arise, despite one’s inability to meet those expectations due to current financial constraints.

It is crucial to understand that sometimes circumstances prevent us from providing financial support, and that should be respected.

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