Why some women are mean to other women
Women can be just as aggressive as men, though they’re usually not so physically violent.
It’s only men who fight, right? Actually women can be just as aggressive as men, though they’re usually not so physically violent. Their hostility is generally much more subtle, and mostly directed against other women. Especially young women!
Everyone is nice to an attractive and sexy woman when she’s dressed modestly. But if she puts on a low-cut blouse and short skirt, then everything changes. The men will admire her even more, of course.
But the women won’t. She’ll be met with stares, anger and disgust. And talked about behind her back. Women are mean towards any attractive female who is dressed provocatively. And the more attractive she is, the more the other women will go after her.
Averted gazes
What’s going on? Aren’t women supposed to stick together and be nice to one another?
Not a bit of it.
In just about every society on earth, men have to compete, often violently, for the chance to have children. Whereas women don’t. But that doesn’t mean they’re passive trophies for triumphant males. They also compete fiercely amongst themselves for the best men. But far less obviously.
So while boys’ fights usually involve actual physical and verbal assaults, girls are much more likely to use a whole range of indirect tactics. Like gossip, shunning, backstabbing, spreading rumours, revealing secrets, criticising clothing, appearance or personality.
And derisive gestures like snide glances, rolled eyes, averted gazes and fake smiles. All probably undetected by everyone except the woman being attacked. Who is hugely upset by it all.
Because indirect aggression is very clever and effective. And can be so subtle that it can look as if nothing is going on at all.
But why do women react so strongly to another attractive and provocatively dressed female?
Casual sex
It’s because she threatens their own efforts to attract and keep a desirable long-term mate. Women especially punish other females who seem to make casual sex too readily available. Through ‘slut-shaming;’ the stigmatisation of female promiscuity. Research everywhere finds that this stigma is always driven by women, not by men.
Women putting down other attractive females goes far beyond simple aggression. For example, female recruiters often discriminate against attractive same-sex candidates, while their male colleagues generally actively welcome them.
Similarly, it’s rivalry between women that has created the modern fashion for thinness. What women consider an ‘ideal body shape’ is far leaner than what men consider attractive. And though it’s often blamed on ultra-skinny fashion models, it actually mostly results from woman to woman peer pressure.
Slenderness is also associated with youthfulness, which is sexually desirable. And because it’s women who value a slim profile rather than men, that means they’re basically motivated by female-female sexual competition. It’s women, not men, who are driving the modern idea of female beauty.
Just like it’s female hostility to women who are ‘too sexually available’ that creates the ‘double standard,” which tolerates male promiscuity, while stigmatising a ‘loose’ woman.
Isn’t life interesting?
