How to win over a woman with words

Boys get plenty of practice at talking to one another, but far fewer opportunities to talk to girls. So it’s hard for a young man to even grasp how to ask a girl to go on a date! Or to have the sort of effortless conversation with a girl that both will enjoy.

Mostly they learn by trial and error. But that’s very stressful, and it can take them years to understand how conversations with girls differ from those between boys.

For example, male conversations are competitive and avoid revealing vulnerabilities, while girls enjoy exploring all their feelings and emotions. And guys need to discover how to check out a new girl’s body language to see whether she would welcome a conversation.

So before you say anything, check that her eyes are catching yours with a hint of nervousness and excitement, and that she seems to enjoy being near you.

Letting you know that you don’t have to worry about getting a brush off. In fact, never stop paying attention to her body language, because it’s full of hints as to what’s going down well as you talk, and what’s not.

Endless wisecracks

Girls want a guy to be confident, so lead the conversation. They like men who are fun to talk to. But that’s not about making endless wisecracks, it’s about excitement and enjoyment. So keep the mood light, playful, teasing and flirtatious. If she’s happy talking to you, you’re half way there.

Show her right from the start that you think she’s attractive and desirable, or you’ll run the risk of being ‘friend-zoned’. But avoid complimenting her too much, especially about her looks, or you’ll seem needy and she’ll think you’re just trying to flatter her. And don’t try to go too fast, because she’ll be much more attracted to you if it feels like she’s slowly winning you over. If she thinks you’re too keen she’ll lose interest.

Be yourself, and don’t be afraid to talk about whatever you’re passionate about. Girls like to see enthusiasm in a man, and anyway, you won’t be happy with someone who doesn’t share your interests.

Women are turned on by men who’re willing to take a conversation to a more personal and intimate level.

Mutual disclosure

Mutual disclosure is another big turn on, while being even slightly secretive isn’t. So ask her lots of questions, and reveal similar things about yourself in return.

Raise potentially revealing topics such as her childhood memories or future ambitions. State your opinions and ask about hers.

Questions can become boring though, so avoid sounding like you’re interrogating her by mixing your questions with statements. So rather than just asking ‘Where are you from?’ try saying ‘You don’t look like you grew up around here...?’ and let her tell you whether you’re right!

Talking to a woman is one of the most enjoyable things you can ever do. But you must follow her rules, not yours. So learn them, and have fun!

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