Mr Survivor: A Sunday outing 'bribe' and a plan to get back on Queen's good side

After carefully studying the angle to which the incommunicado status between Queen and I was taking, I called myself to an emergency meeting to stop what was threatening to turn into a divorce.

You will remember how Makena literally took Queen’s physical space and it was only the fact that my spirit was stronger than my body that stopped her. She is still writing some flirtatious SMSs to me, but that is a story for another day.

In that meeting, I resolved to act with speed and regain both Queen and the boys. In the case that Queen refused to cooperate, I resolved to 'buy' our boys to my side so that they could enjoy the joy of a father, which Queen was denying them in her selfish endeavours by inciting them against me.

With that resolve, I brought up the issue on Sunday morning during breakfast. “I shall be taking you for an outing this afternoon after church,” I said. As I had expected, Queen indirectly spoke to me for the first time in two weeks. “Uuuiiii! What is that now? We are not interested in cheap outings!” Queen shouted.

I decided to gamble with the boys. “I did not mean those who are not interested, I meant those who are! Can those who are interested raise their hands?” I asked. There was pin drop silence as the boys looked at their mother for guidance. She eyed them in a manner communicating that whoever chose to go would have to look for another mother. “Let me see the one who has another, better mother!” Queen threatened.

“You will have a chance to see a hippopotamus and also have a boat ride in a floating balloon,” I enticed. This one did it. The firstborn raised both hands high in total disregard of the consequences.

“I want to go. I want to swim in the floating balloon,” said the lastborn, the family comedian.

The twins followed suit, raising their hands half high. As you can guess, they were not looking at their mother.

“I also want to go. We have never swum in that balloon,” said the second born twin. “I also want to see the hippo swimming,” said the firstborn twin. You should have seen the deflated Queen.

“Am I hearing right? Perhaps I have been so quiet for so long. Now I mean nothing in this house? Okay!” Queen lamented.

“For me and my house, I shall go to the House of the Lord. Those who want to go and please the devil can go,” Queen said. It was too late.

“You will go to church then I pick you after the service is over,” I said.

“Which church and with who? It is either the church or the devil!” Queen said.

Queen left for church without talking to anyone. I drove the boys to church and we agreed I would pick them after Sunday school, which ends before the main service. They were at the gate at the appointed time.

And that is how I ended up at Kichakani Paradise with my boys. While taking lunch, the boys told me a lot about what their mother tells them about me. Now, if I knew what I know now about what Queen thinks about me, our marriage would be a study case in marital bliss. But it is not too late.

While enjoying life at Kichakani Paradise, Makena kept on sending me flirtatious SMSs, which I ignored. I was on a serious mission of dealing with my marital anarchy. I, however, bought her a piece of roast chicken and chips. For Queen, I bought her a whole half roast chicken, chips and Del Monte mango juice.

I dropped the boys at the Palace at five in the evening when I was sure Queen was back. I gave the Ombudsman Makena’s chicken while the comedian took Queen’s piece to her at her Slopes Supermarket. I drove back to Green Valley. While there, I got as SMS from Makena. “Thaaaankssssssss, soooooo so much.” It was followed by some emojis that I cannot describe here. Later, I got another one from Queen. It was a curtly, “Thanks.”

But it was better than nothing. I hope to soon exchange the length and the warmth of the SMSs between the senders. And from the look of things, that will be sooner rather than later.

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