Mr Survivor: Mrembo tells off her ‘loyal’ club members

After a two-month forced suspension, Sunday was my day of recapturing the coveted seat of a member of the Sanhedrin of Happy Valley.

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After a two-month forced suspension, Sunday was my day of recapturing the coveted seat of a member of the Sanhedrin of Happy Valley. This is a members’ only club of the ‘who is who’ in the social, political and financial circles in Happy Valley.

As you can remember, I took Mrembo and Margie for a tripartite meeting on Saturday in which we agreed to co-exist harmoniously for the success of our businesses. In that meeting, we agreed that there is more that binds us together than our allegiances to our individual friends. After that outing, I knew it was just a matter of when, not if, Mrembo was going to show her mifugo the way out.

I did not have to wait for long. You see, Mrembo is one of Happy Valley’s most shrewd entrepreneurs in the pub industry and she could not waste a golden opportunity to revive her pub, which was on the road to history. Last Sunday afternoon, there was shock and consternation when I resumed my chair at Mumbi’s corner at Happy Valley Grills.

Kwani watu wa kamuti wamefunguka macho?” asked Chairman. Chairman is Mrembo’s partner in crime. He is her official mfugo.

Hii nguvu ya kamuti huisha. Inakuwa ni kama video, ni kama drama,” said Mhesh. Mhesh is one of Mrembo’s faithful customers by name, and a perennial debtor in practice.

I could not respond at that early juncture. With Chairman’s powers by then as Mrembo’s mfugo and the leader of the Sanhedrin, chances of being physically ejected and even robbed in broad day light was not remote. I waited for Mrembo to give directions. With issues of relationships, one cannot be very sure.

“Can the two of you shut up! You are my friends, yes, but my business does not know you!” Mrembo shouted. The two folded themselves like hens that had been rained on. They could not believe their ears.

“But this fella here took away all our customers,” said Chairman.

“Excuse meee! This is my business! And where were you when he took the customers? Secondly, what have you done about it since he took them?” roared Mrembo.

It was my time to revenge the humiliation the two idlers had subjected me to. I had to give the two a killer blow that would announce their fall from glory to dust and my consequent installation as the rightful holder of the position of chairman of the Sanhedrin.

“If anyone counts himself among men, let them show their contribution towards making this business a success!” I said. The two looked at each other like antelopes that had heard a lion roar. “A man who has no cows has no business attending a cattle dip meeting. I am Mrembo’s business partner, so what are some people’s roles here? I am back and the customers are on the way, so keep to your lane!” I lectured.

At that very moment, Ndoria came in. As per our agreement with Mrembo and Margie, I had kept my disciples in the dark. He had seen my Volkswagen Beetle parked at the Grills and came to find out what I was doing. He was later joined by Professor and Mworia.

“Hey men! The pumpkin in the old homestead should not be uprooted,” Professor said. We all laughed to the aptness of the proverb. The rest of the afternoon was well spent with most of the former customers coming back to the Grills. We later club hopped to Green Valley for the evening top up.

“Welcome home guys,” said Margie. “How is my co-wife?” Margie asked me jokingly.

Those who had expected a WWIII between Mrembo and Margie over customers were shocked by the sudden change of heart between the two women. “Some men have magical powers. How does one deal with two women and they do not fight?” wondered Professor.

And that was my Sunday excursion in which Mrembo’s mifugo were shown the door. And by the look of things, Chairman might as well forget his good days at the Grills. Well, that is not saying that I am a suitable replacement. But as you can expect from the Happy Valley Radio, juicy stories have started hitting the airwaves. The problem is that they cannot say with confidence who between Mrembo and Margie I will be settling on. 

Back at the Palace, Queen has been looking at me suspiciously and I know it is just a matter of time before she blows up. I am expectantly waiting…

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