Wife Speak: Where would man be without woman?

“Man was turning into one of the animals. That’s why God created a woman for him.” Hiram, a colleague said over lunch. Before we could react, he continued, “Look at us!” He said, pointing at Joshua who was more focused on ravenously eating his fish than on the discussion about why men and women were from different planets.

“Look at his hairy arms.” Joshua paused, only briefly, and let his eyes speak as we followed his gaze to Hiram’s heavily bearded face. It was a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, both men are heavy on the facial and arm hair.

“God had finished creating the earth, the animals, and Adam. Then Adam was left alone to roam and rule. Weh! God saw wonders and decided to create Eve,” Hiram chuckled after this exposition. “What wonders did Adam perform?” Annita asked, laughing. “Other than eating the animals you mean?” Joshua finally found his voice in between munching. “Adam ate them raw, just like the other carnivores did. It was Eve who came up with the idea of marination, cooking, and whatnot.”

Hiram then explained that the creator’s initial plan was to create a man, not a woman. Before we could protest and claim sexism, Hiram put his hand up and we let him continue. After all, he was an aspiring junior pastor at his church. “You know why a wife is called a helper to her husband?” This, it seemed, was not meant to be a rhetorical question as he paused, waiting for our response. “Huh…the rib manenos?” Kevin volunteered. “No…that was just to make sure that his mate was from his species, in case he fancied a cougar or something.”

According to Hiram, when man was first created and left alone, he simply behaved like the rest of the creation. “In fact, he started to turn into another of the animals. God had to create something different from what man had been living with, something or someone that would remind him that he was a man.” Hiram said and added, “That is why it is not good for man to be alone. He will turn into an animal. Even bachelor houses host many small animals.”

“What about a woman? She would have behaved the same, ama?” Kevin asked. “No. Have you seen men together, without a woman? They are loud, obnoxious, and rough.” I remembered my days as a teacher in a boys-only school and the kind of issues we had, vastly different from when it was a mixed school. Maybe Hiram was onto something, yes?

“God took an extraordinarily long time to craft the woman. She was given insight and wisdom, and she came with special powers of influence,” Hiram said before Joshua chipped in, “Yes, she influenced him to eat the fruit and doomed us all!”

A reader once told me that a husband and a wife are one of the dualities of life, part of the symmetry of the universe. Just like we have light and dark, birth and death, joy, and sadness, so we have man and woman.

Their existence is meant for a healthy balance of life. For example, his physical strength protects her and his offspring while her gentleness nurtures him and his offspring. Her unpredictable emotions temper his hard-line logic, just like the seasons of mother nature keep us all alive. Too much of either is unhealthy. Too much rain and crop rot in the floods. Too much sun and the scorched earth cannot grow the crop for life sustenance. Too much of anything, without a healthy balance, saps out life. Duality is complimentary, never about competition. As a couple, duality helps you appreciate each other. When you do not listen to each other, or take into consideration each other’s opinions, then you walk in folly.  You are one part of the other, without which you are incomplete.

 What would our world be like if there was only one gender? Would man join the other animals in the jungle if there were no women on the planet? Would women turn into angry maniacs if there were no men? Those with ears, listen before you doom yourself and others with the darkness of ignorance.

Walk in the light of knowledge and have yourselves a lovely day. I plan to do the same. It is my birthday!