Why it is a friendless season for men
A friendless season forces a man to look inwardly and really see himself for who he is.
What you need to know:
- A friendless season compels a man to pat himself on the back and hug himself.
- A friendless season causes a man to be more discerning - to know who’s who in his life - especially on issues concerning destiny.
I define friendless season as a period when a man has no friends he can count on. Sure, he may have acquaintances. He may have colleagues or male friends he hangs out with. But “friends-friends”? Nope.
All men will go through a friendless season at some point in life. For some men, it may be because that last standing buddy broke the bro code, which left you with no option but to put an end to your relationship painfully. For others, it could be occasioned by the cruel hand of death. I once witnessed a man going through a friendless season after burying all his friends, who perished in a road accident.
Generally, men form lasting friendships. Some friendships - like that of Jesus and his cousin John - can be traced right from the womb. These two started kicking it, literally, while still in their mothers’ wombs.
Longevity is one of the reasons why men often hold onto friendships. It’s hard to put down dawgs you’ve known all your life. You share precious memories and milestones and you feel you’re too invested and old to start anew with fresh faces.
However, if we realise that friendships are for a season and a reason, we will embrace that patch when there’s nary a single soul in sight. We will know that, just like a patch of land that’s “barren” during crop rotation, the soil of our inner man is being prepared for a fruitful season. Though we may appear to be barren, our inner patch is being optimised and our mental health is being improved to deal with the pressures of relationships.
I have learnt that a friendless season is not a punishment. On the contrary, it is an opportunity for us to grow into ourselves and, when the time comes, to be better friends.
The man in the mirror
Speaking of better friends, a friendless season is an opportunity for a man to be just that to the man in the mirror; a better pal. Sometimes, we sink our souls and shillings into friendships until we lose our uniqueness and, sometimes, direction. Thus, a friendless season helps us to recalibrate and find our bearings.
A friendless season forces a man to look inwardly and really see himself for who he is. Introspection is like a powerful torchlight that peers into the dark crevices of our soul. Introspection makes us see things that were right in front of our eyes but, because there were people around us, their shadows may have blinded us.
A friendless season forces us to love our own company and learn to enjoy solitude. This may be hard for men who are suckers for crowds and who, for instance, cannot watch football alone or savour a drink by their lonesome selves.
A friendless season compels a man to pat himself on the back and hug himself. It’s akin to that football season when the beautiful game was played in empty stadiums due to Covid-19. Here’s the principle: When there’s no twelfth man to urge you on, you do it yourself. You score the goal of the season and create your solo Mexican wave … and enjoy every moment as if the stadium is packed with bosom friends.
A friendless season causes a man to be more discerning - to know who’s who in his life - especially on issues concerning destiny. Most times, this season happens when a man’s about to go to the next level or dimension. This is why you’re being allowed to know who’s the destiny helper and who’s the deadweight.
If you’re currently in a friendless season, don’t waste the moment. Buy a bottle of Moet & Chandon Imperial Vintage and toast to yourself.
