Pastor Kitoto: Why aren’t single men interested in having a relationship with me?


Only married men seem to approach me.

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What you need to know:

  • I'm 32, hardworking, beautiful, and kin.
  • My conscience would not allow me to date or have a relationship with a married person.

Why is it that only married men want to have a relationship with me? As for single guys, they seem not to be ready to have a serious relationship. I'm 32, hardworking, beautiful, kind and I know that I am generally a good person. It scares me because my conscience would not allow me to date or have a relationship with a married person. Kindly advise me.

Dear Reader,

It is important to remind yourself about what influences people to get into relationships. First, if we are driven by need, and our needs supersede our ability to reason through with care and set a clear agenda for ourselves, then we can end up getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons.

Being ignorant of the schemes some people use to gain advantage in their desire to win a relationship could result in pain. Second, if you’re in a relationship through selfish desire and peer pressure, it will most likely have a weak foundation.

You cannot allow the pressure of telling yourself that you are getting old to drive you into an unsuitable relationship.
Love should not be based purely on selfish desire. For you, the biggest task is to find out what makes married men attracted to you and what makes single men not interested in having a long-term relationship with you.
You must be clever enough not to fall into the trap they are trying to get you into. Some men have mastered the art of manipulating for personal and temporary gain, and view women as sex tools.
The question then begs, why is it that men don’t understand the needs of women?

In this question lies your frustration. The fact is that men sometimes have no idea that women are more in tune with their emotions than they are, and when men don’t pay attention to these emotions, it can be frustrating. That is why, as you aim to get into a relationship with a bigger agenda in mind, understand that your desires and that of men you may find suitable may clash.
I urge you not to become impatient and give in to the advances of the married men showing an interest in you. Relationship experts agree that most men who cheat on their wives have multiple partners. You will not be the only one.
You need to abide by your convictions. When it comes to choosing a life partner, everything boils down to how wisely you make your choice.

From what you’ve written, it is obvious that you have a healthy view of yourself, and this is commendable. However, you are concerned about your age, and worry that this is what could be denying you a serious relationship.
I urge you to acknowledge who you are and the values you hold and let this guide you. Age is simply a number, and if you allow yourself to succumb to the fear that it is what is standing in the way of you getting the relationship you desire, this factor will drive you to make the wrong decision.

Failure to challenge and direct your emotions may lead to inner battles, compromise, or forcing things to work your way.

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