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My ex-girlfriend stalked my friends and wouldn't stop when I confronted her
What you need to know:
- Giving her stalking behavior any attention will only confirm her belief that it is working.
Q: I was in a relationship for three years before I broke up with my girlfriend. It took me three months to move on and I started dating another girl. However, this relationship did not end well. She started stalking my female friends and would threaten them whenever they talked to me. I discussed the issue with her a couple of times but she still went on. To make matters worse, she started even stalking my male friends. Consequently, I started losing friends, especially the female ones, and this bugged me so much. Last Sunday, I talked to her mum about the matter because she knew about our relationship; but this only added fuel to the fire because the girl has not been talking to me since then. She no longer takes my calls or replies to my text messages. I now regret talking to her mum. What should I do?
A: You broke up with your girlfriend and after three months of being in another relationship. This clearly indicates that you entered into a rebound relationship. You had not dealt with the aftermath of the first break-up and you took all that baggage to your second relationship.
It is therefore recommended that you take time with yourself, evaluate your feelings and decide what you really need in your future relationship. The difficult truth is that you really do not need to be in a relationship right now as you do not have the emotional capacity to handle one. What is really important is your personal healing from all past relationships. Visiting a counselor would help you through this process.
As for your girlfriend and her stalking tactics, one is left wondering, could you be the one who is giving her an avenue to stalk you? Look, when she did that to your female friends, you had a talk with her. When she continued, you went to her mum to discuss her.
This is an indication that she is simply looking for attention from you and she seems sure that she will get it every time she stalks your friends. This means that it is not wise to confront her. Giving her stalking behavior any attention will only confirm her belief that it is working, and will encourage her to do it further.
You should ignore her calls and any attempts she makes to contact you. The truth is that you cannot reason with her. It seems she has already decided that she will follow you no matter what you say. This kind of reaction will only encourage her to continue trying, or to try even harder to stay in touch with you. In case it gets worse, please consider reporting the issue to police. I wish you success.