What you need to know:
- Your girl is clearly feeling the insecurities passed on from the early years of your relationship.
- She probably doesn't feel loved because you don't love her. And she is sensing that, and sensing you are trying to leave her.
- Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]
Hey, I have been dating this particular girl for one year , four months now. She is 22 while I'm 27.
I met her through a friend and didn't expect much from her but just a fling thing since we come from the same village.
Furthermore I knew we wasn't meant to be since she's a high school dropout.
I hold a diploma in journalism and as a result, she's always felt insecure since all my colleagues are "slay queens" and more learned than her.
She's always says I don't love her even when I did all I could to make her feel loved and comfortable.
The last time I decided to call it quits, she came home with pesticide ready to drink it. She keeps threatening to commit suicide.
I'm a Christian and I don't want to hurt her in future when it's too late.
I'm confused about whether you love this girl or not, seeing as you clearly continued a relationship that you didn't have faith in.
If you didn't think it was going anywhere, why did it progress to the one year mark? You should have sorted out your priorities and cut her off years – literally a year – ago. Anyway.
Now that we're here. Your girl is clearly feeling the insecurities passed on from the early years of your relationship. She probably doesn't feel loved because you don't love her. And she is sensing that, and sensing you are trying to leave her.
That being said, it is unfortunate that she is using something as unfortunate as suicide and emotional manipulation to make you stay. That is a terrible thing to do to a person, particularly if they want to leave you.
You shouldn't have to have this influencing your decision. It would appear she knows what she is doing, and that's just mean.
But let's say that perhaps she doesn't and this reality of a life without you is too much to bear. What then? For the record, mental health is something that should be dealt with delicately, with as much caution as possible. People who want to off themselves generally don't make announcements as they're doing so.
It is entirely possible that the breakup could lead to the type of grief that makes her swallow the pesticides, but let us work on what to do before then. What you need to do now is get her professional help.
You are NOT EQUIPPED to deal with this on your own. Bring in her family and/or friends if you want, because this is bigger than your relationship. It is a human life. Good luck.
Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? E-mail: [email protected]