MAJOR MARVIN: She is not worth the fight

Fighting another guy over a girl who probably won't be with you for the rest of your days is teenage behaviour. PHOTO | FILE | NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • It is pathetic for a grown man to engage in physical combat with another man over a woman!
  • There is no winning when fighting a man
  • Fighting over a girl also kills friendships

I got up on a Friday morning and logged on to Twitter for my usual rounds.

The words '1824' and the name of a famous tweep flooded my timeline.

The tweep had been beaten up at the famous 1824 along Lang'ata Road in Nairobi the previous night, by a guy allegedly sent by his girlfriend.

The spat was over a social media battle the two had some few days back.

It is acceptable for a man to go to war with another guy for insulting his mother. However, it is pathetic for a grown man to engage in physical combat with another man over a woman.

Social media, on the ground; fighting another guy over a girl who probably won't be with you for the rest of your days is teenage behaviour.


Sure we love the drama and love triangles a lot of reality TV shows and soap operas bring. But I couldn't help but feel pity over these men.

They beat each other up in clubs, outside bars, along the streets of Nairobi and even kill each other over women.

The minute you fight another guy over a girl, you've lost. The minute you say 'yes' to a girl's request of going to beat another guy because he's flirting with her excessively, you have shot yourself in the foot.

It's like a Major General commanding you to go shoot down some terrorists in Iraq. There is almost no guarantee you will make it out of that brawl unscathed, much less alive.

There is no winning when fighting a man. The only winner between you two is the lady in the middle.

Women who indeed date the winner of the clash of titans between two guys barely exist. The ones that do are probably not worth it!

Chances are they are deeply damaged, have psychological issues or are just completely immature.


A man who fights over a girl treats her like she's his property. Understand this, your woman is NOT your property.

She is a human being with a properly functioning brain, her own body parts and her own voice. She has her needs, desires, dreams, likes and dislikes.

Supposing she dislikes you both? Or prefers one over another? In those cases, a woman should make her feelings known. And men have to accept that gracefully.

What if she likes them both? Then both guys should be given a chance to shoot their shot without either interfering. Then let her make that choice.

And if she still can't decide? Both of you then should look elsewhere. You don't need a woman who can't make up her mind on what she would like to eat on your date.

To assume that she would want to end up with the winner of the brawl contest is shortsighted. She might not care for either one of you, especially since you have both reduced her to nothing more than an object.

Undeniably there are some girls who get so impressed by physical violence that they will immediately fall for the winner of the fight.

Just make sure you keep that same level of confidence of seeing off any future suitors in another battle, and another….and another….indefinitely until you get beaten up or end the relationship.

What, just because you've overpowered Brayo and Ashley the Lightskin would go for you, you think that would be the end of it? If you winning a fight is enough to win her heart then she'll fall HARDER for the guy who eventually beats you!

A woman is not worth putting your life on the line for. Maybe you should Google 'courting a woman'. The real battle is her heart and mind.


Fighting over a girl also kills friendships. If the other person happens to be your friend, fighting over a woman will destroy that friendship beyond reasonable doubt. If it's a relationship, it may end faster than or just as fast as it begun.

Any girl who motivates two guys to fight each other raises a red flag! Therefore it is the right of both of you to drop her and find different girls.

Even when people consider it necessary to fight over a girl, in the end it never ends well. If she likes you, trust that she will fight for you and with you, and never tell you to fight over her.

These days people don't always fight with fists. Most men don't take a defeat kindly.

If you need to go to war with someone over a girl, organise a war of words, a rap battle or even settle the scuffle over a best-out-of-three game of FIFA.