What you need to know:
- There is an illusion that men are intimidated by women with money. The opposite is actually true. As Ne-Yo, an American artiste, said in his song Miss Independent, men love successful women.
As a bachelor who shuttles between one gathering of singles to the other, I am appalled by the current argument on why successful women are not married.
The single, independent, successful women argue they lack empowered men or courageous ones to handle them. This is a fallacy that needs to be unmasked for what it is — a lie.
There are many men for such women. The problem is the women are consigned to single-dom due to wrong timing, double standards and acquired arrogance.
Let me start with wrong timing. Some spend their 20s and early 30s — the prime dating stage — either chasing careers or academic papers. Some put in 14 hours in the office every day and have no time for dating.
By the time they realise a corporate title does not always guarantee happiness, they are in their late 30s or early 40s. By then, the good men have either married or given up on marriage. The ones left are losers, heartbreakers or hangers-on.
These are the men successful women find in the market. It is not that there are no good men — the women simply come too late.
There is an illusion that men are intimidated by women with money. The opposite is actually true. As Ne-Yo, an American artiste, said in his song Miss Independent, men love successful women.
It guarantees his family’s stability should he die and they also give children good genes. Men love successful women, they are just turned off by the arrogance and disdain that come with it.
And finally, independent women claim there are no good men like their fathers, who were responsible, tough but caring, and who took care of their families.
That is a double standard. For our fathers to be what they were, they were treated with respect, care and their roles as heads of family recognised.
Mothers were family-oriented, submissive and made room for both family happiness and their professions.
Many successful women expect men to be like their fathers but are not willing to play their role. They want Range Rover treatment but give tuk tuk care.
Are there bad men? Of course. There are pretenders and the plainly irresponsible ones. But there are also men strong enough to handle successful women.
Women just need to create the right environment for relationships with such men to thrive. Tea does not grow in a desert.