Toxic masculinity is driving many men to an early grave

As a young man, it has hit me that I’m growing up in a world that demands everything from men.

Men are expected to be at their best financially, academically, mentally and physically, and to show no signs of emotional weakness.

In the wake of DJ Lithium’s suspected suicide at Capital FM offices last week, I feel obliged to speak up on this issue that has long been kept under wraps.

Toxic masculinity is real. It is depressing and traumatising. We are living in a world where men cannot freely open up or show emotions for fear of being perceived as inferior and weak.

The few who go against this grain end up being mocked, bullied, stigmatised and ostracised.

Ours is a world where men are even not expected to cry while grieving.

During our low moments, the society wants us to remain strong and composed in a show of masculinity. Isn’t that absurd?

Men are human beings too. We have emotions and face difficulties in life that we wish to share with others as we seek peace and solutions.

Sadly, we end up suppressing feelings and emotions. These issues end up troubling our minds and hearts, turning into bruises and scars that lead to trauma and depression. Pushed to the edge, many turn to drugs and substance abuse as they try to deal with their troubles. I am a firm believer in the axiom “a problem shared is a problem half solved”.

I want to encourage all men to make themselves emotionally vulnerable and not be afraid of speaking up on their troubles.

I believe that showing emotions is part of communication. Fellow men, let us drop the notion of toxic masculinity and embrace opening up.

Women, take the initiative and stop the stigma. Abandon the warped ideology that masculinity is about being strong and look out for that brother, father, son, husband, uncle and nephew.

They need you. Check up on the men around you because, deep down, many of them are hurting but are not speaking up because you have not given them the platform.

Let’s all join hands and help save a brother’s life.

Carlos, 19, studies construction management at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology. Are you aged 10-20 and would like to be Nation’s young reporter? Email your 400-600-word article to [email protected]